Oh my lands.

Well, there's a great post, waiting in the wings, but I can't get the images to work.

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It's the continuing takes of the Remote Knitter, and it's awesome.

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But it's a million times more awesome with the images. So I'm going to wait & get them out of her camera when she gets here. Until then, this was one of today's random funny things:

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(Me, working away at the office. Voice over loudspeaker:)

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*garble static "Ball Zeitchy, 228, Ball Zeatchie, 228."

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(Me, to myself: What???? I know we're a multicultural workplace & all, but really? We have someone named Ball Zeitchie? That can't be right. What the heck kind of ethnicity would that be?)

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*garble static "Ball Zeitchie, 228, Ball Zeitchie, 228."

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(Me, to myself: It can't be something that sounds so much like "Balls Itchy". It must partially be the receptionist's accent. I am not going to go & look for Balls in our gloabl address book.)

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And I didn't. It also occurred to me today - upon being met by two muchkin scaled creatures, swathed in primary-colored down jackets, contrasting toques & scarves, & snow pants - that winter would be a great time for the aliens to invade. I mean really, why aren't there any movies about that? It'd be easy to wait for February, pop over to MEC, thrown on something like this:

...and take over the world*. I mean, why bother with elaborate masks? Just use a balaclava. Even if they were green & slimy, meh, people would just offer a kleenex, and think they've got a a terrible cold.

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*Or a bunch of area around the poles, for sure. Maybe harder when this is the daily ensemble:

The House Is Alive... With The Sounds Of Music...

Yes, I've been carolling snippets of badly rewritten tunes to Am for quite some time. Some top hits include!

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(Note- to the tune if "Hi-Ho; "Ya-yo" is Am's pronunciation for Cheerio.)

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Ya-yo, Ya-yo,

It's time for brekky I know.

We chew our food, it tastes real good,

Ya-yo, Ya-yo.

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(Note - to the tune of "Up Where We Belong", in response to frequent requests of "uppie!")

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Mom lifts us up where we belong.

Where short are tall,

Little aren't so small.

Mom makes us big when we are wee.

She lifts us up! So we can see!

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(Note - to the tune of "Isn't She Lovely", during a nap on the road one day.)

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Isn't she sleeping.

Isn't she snoring away.

Isn't she drooling

All over her carseat.

She's totally knocked out, I guess a that a day

Out on the beach will do that.

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(Note - to the tune if Funicula, Funiculi, which, interestingly, was written to commemorate the opening of the first funicular on Mount Vesuvius.)

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Broccoli, broccolah,

Broccoliiiiiiiiiii, broccola-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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(I can't take credit for this one. The man sings it to Amoryn when it's nasty diaper-change time. And it's not really a rewrite, it's just the Imperial March.)

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Bum, bum, bum, bum-bum bum, bum bum-bum bum.

Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum! Bum, Bum-Bum-Bum,

Bum bum, bum-bum, bum,

Bum, BUM, BUM.

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I'll let you know of others as they appear.

Snurgggggg...

(Lucky bird of paradise has never experienced "cold" of any type.)
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Yes, Am has been back in daycare for three days. And yes, yesterday morning, when I dropped her off, there was a little girl who had enough boogers running down her face that the addition of a couple flies would have made her the perfect poster kid for fund-raising pathos images of some sort.*
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So I knew. I knew that Am would be gettting sick, and then me, then probably the man. But still! I want to wail & blubber, but I can't breathe through my nose well enough to do either. Amoryn is the same.
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If I don't post again, you'll know that I've drown in my own snot.
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(Sorry if you're not a mom/have never been exposed to toddler germs & the associated fallout. Trust me, there are way grosser things that I've been editing from you.)
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*Sacred cows do make the best hamburger, don't you agree?

Ah, the end of the day.

Yes indeed, it's the end of a busy day. I've accomplished, well, some. Lots? I went to the office, battled dragons there, picked up Am, successfully fed both of us supper, snuggled, knit a little, then sort of reformatted the blog. And I made brownies. Amoryn helped. And bless her, she's still too young to know that brownie batter tastes good! (I made sure to lick my spoon when she wasn't looking. Way to close to bedtime for that level of chocolate discovery.)
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I haven't folded any laundry. It's all in a lump in the living room - usually I'll fold in the evening whilst watching tv. Not lately though - I think I'm maybe working towards fulfilling a subconscious fantasy, where Amoryn & I* will wake up every morning, strip off our pj's**, run downstairs gleefully, then plunge into the pile of clean laundry like we're Scrooge MacDuck, & joyously dive around until we're dressed in what we want for the day.
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Or it could be that my sacrum is still a wee bit tweaky post-flights, and sitting crosslegged on the floor is no good at all. One more chiro trip should get me back into shape. I hope.
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What else is new... I made guacamole! Not that that's terribly new or unusual, but because I frequently get compliments on my guac, I thought I'd share my secrets. Not really secrets, per se: I make the quick'n'dirty version. I don't mince, grate, pare, dice, or blend. I do line up all the ingredients, like I'm organizing all the actors in a graphic veggie slasher film, & I'm the crazed director.

(I like how my berry herbal tea is casting an ominous red haze on the left.)
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I cut the avodaoes in half. Mmmmm, organic avocadoes... so worht it. I scoop out their guts. (Graphic veg violence, edited for viewers.)
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I use the garlic & herb spice grinder liberally, & the chili*** grinder more frugally, & a then put in a gwoosh of lime juice.

(Sorry about the money shot of the lime juice. I guess that's the topless chearleader running through the woods, eh?)
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Mash enthusiastically. (Likewise edited for viewer's sensibilites, and also, I can't mash & take a photo at the same time. Where's my darn gaffers?)

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Taste. Adjust lime & spices as needed. Remeber, the spices & lime will 'ripen' as time goes by, so the flavors will become more pronounced than they are when you first mix a batch up. And be careful to go easy on the salt!
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Mmmmmm.
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Oh, and by the way: should there be any leftovers****, I don't save the pits or anything like that. I carefully smoosh all the air out under a layer of saran-wrap. That, & the citric acid in the guac, seem to keep it from getting too brown too fast.
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*Am & I are the only people I do laundry for. Bless the man's buttons, he does his own. And irons it too!
**Yes, I sleep in pj's. It's hard enough to roll out of bed in the middle of the night for the bad-dream patrol; if I was going to have to be cold, too? Eesh.
***Not chili, like the chili that's a meal, chili like the 'hot!'.
****Hah! Only if I'm trying to remember to 'share'.

That's all I've got.

I need a new mouse. I keep deleting whole rafts of sentences, & frankly, I don't have the oomph to be witty & clever a second time. So instead, have some lolcat.

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PS: Updated to add:

This is an email from my best friend.

She’s becoming more & more of a knitter, & she works in a remote location for stretches of time. This is what she sent:

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From: S_______
Sent: March 2, 2009 3:55 PM
To: Kourtney
Subject: Unsuccessful

I left my size 8 circulars at home. Tried to make a substitute, but the yarn sticks to the duct tape too much.
Attempt #1: unsuccessful.
Will keep you advised on attempt #2...

I love that girl!

Twist & Shout!

Awesome! The Spring Twist Collective is out... if you don't knit, fyi: online magazine about knitting, with some great articles & downloadable patterns that are a reasonable price. If you do knit, check it out - there are some fantastic patterns, inclding quite a few for men, and the collective works closely with the designers, so they get a fair shake for their patterns.
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I'm tempted by Pisara by Mari Muinonen.

There's some deatiling on the back that I adore. And I believe it's knited in the round.

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Megan Roger's Aran Waitcoat is totally me.

I think, anyways... I'm really drawn to vests these days, but I don't have a single one.
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I'll get back on the sock band wagon, someday. (I have knit 3 paris, you know. Long ago.)

I can totally picture these in (my) shoes: Laeticia by Stephanie Van Der Linden . Maybe for the sock yarn I got in Maui?

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Before I cast on for any new projects though, I've got a couple I need to finish. One of these is grocery shopping, as fate has it, so we're off to the grokky store!

Another Experiment...

The last experiment wasn’t a success, but it wasn’t an irredeemable failure, either. I think.  SO what does that mean?

More experiments, please!

Interesting...

I suspect I shouldn't monkey with my blog settings after 9pm, due to lack of brain. But who knows???

This made me laugh, & laugh, & laugh.

While I'm not quite sure if this is defined as "adult content", as someone who has worked as a part-time clown* making balloon animals, I find it freaking hilarious.
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It's a durex commercial. There are no people in this commercial; it's all balloon animals. I was going to upload it, but while I don't think it's obscene**, I suspect it does infringe on copyrighted blah blah... So, check it out here: Youtube Durex Balloon Animals .
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If you're the type of person who doesn't believe in condoms, or conversations about condoms, then I would really skip that link. Here! Instead look at this:

Aren't they lovely? No idea what they are, other than orange & pretty.

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*I guess I wasn't funny enough to be a full-time clown...
**I would explain it to small children as: "It's making a joke about something adults to do to feel closer to one another & your mother will explain it more LATER."

The Ugly Truth Comes Out

A strange thing happened while we were on holidays. It's never happened before, actually: I woke up before the man, got up, and put the coffee on for him..

(Maybe they grow coffee on the island off in the distance on the right? I think that's Lanai, & I know the coffee is for sure on Kona, but I digress. As usual.)

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It was astonishing, mostly because a) I am a sleeper, & b) I like the sleep. I don't know as I really identify myself as a coffee drinker, but I will make pots for others, & occasionally have a cup, if it's fortified by chocolate or Bailey's.

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Today, out running errands, the man mentioned that he thought he'd put on a pot of drip coffee once we got home. I remembered this as I was happily mashing avocadoes into guacamole, & offered to put on a pot for him.
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The man: "No thanks."
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Me: "You changed your mind?"
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The man: "Nope."
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Me: "Ah-hahhhh - you just don't like my coffee!"
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The man: "..." (while looking sheepish, trying to figure out what to say to bring it back to witty repartee from the potentially calamitous state of admitting he doesn't like my coffee.)

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Me: (Smugly. Because now, I never ever have to even think 'Maybe I should be nice & get up early & make him a coffee'.) "Here, taste the guacamole."
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Funny.

Ssssss, ni-night.

I had the nicest day today. It's not even over yet, & I can confidently say that. In fact, I even had a rough night – and by this, I mean that Amoryn was awake several times, in varying states of grimmel. She didn’t eat her supper, & only got her bedtime snack, and, well. Our girl needs more food than that to feed the machine, you know? So she was Wide Awake at 4 am, convinced that one tummy rumble meant that it was morning. Instead of soothing her, whispering hush, then tiptoeing back to bed, to repeat in 20 minutes (which would be the usual policy), instead I crawled in with her. I was tired, and figured that I’d be further ahead to try & sleep in with her, and the man would get better sleep too.
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The sleep part of the solution was a little rocky. Am was glad for the company, & the snuggle, & whispering “shhhhhh” and “ssssssss”* back & forth, but she does have the unnerving habit of trying to grab your eyelashes. It might be because she so rarely has access (my glasses are always on my face), or just one of those perverse character traits that toddlers have. At any rate, eventually she got tired of trying to coax me into playing with her, or sing with her, etc, etc, and we both (blessedly) fell asleep.
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The waking up is what was so nice. Like myself, Am isn’t always happy to get up – but today, she woke up when she was ready, and she was a collection of sunbeams & joy. Baby unicorns pranced about giddily, blowing soap bubbles of happiness. Tiny elfin creatures sang paeans of joy (to the tune of “Baa Baa Black Sheep”). She was totally awesome, and incredibly adorable. I didn’t have the camera with me**, but I do have these photos, which I took soon after she moved into her big-girl bed in January. She’s wearing the pj’s from Auntie A____ & Uncle J____, and the pale blue color, plus the blues of her sheets & wall, are just about the perfect setting for her.

See? Happy girl.

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Big girl bed (it's a double). (Very Hungry Caterpillar, & turquoise flannelette snowflake sheets).

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With lots of room for the menagerie (Bear, Rowr, the grey cat, pink bear, the rattley fish, the Steelers bear, Sheep, the caterpillar, and I'm sure a couple other things). Also, three books, four pillows, and two afghans. Some pillows are strategically placed to ward of her falling out of bed. We've managed to pare down the crew to a couple regulars (Bear & Rowr & Sheep), and a small cast of rotating stuffies. With maybe a book, if it's a softcover, & she hasn't been abusing books lately.
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Also, it was sunny. And my chiro bent the crap out of my back, in a good way, but also in a sort of painful way that required I lay as straight as possible afterwards, with my feet up on the couch. This luckily coincided with Am's nap time, & the afternoon appearance of my friendly neighbourhood sunbeam. After I established that it was MY sunbeam, cat, you go find your own, I had a lovely time. I knitted on my Taiyo cardi, and while part of my brain is wondering what on earth body type this will look good on, the rest of my brain is oretty happy about the progress. I suspect you, Intarweb peeps, will be called upon to cast judgement (or at least offer opinions) at some point in the future.
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Yesterday, the man found/figured out how to find the Season 4 BSG episodes on the web, then hook his computer up to the tv. So, now we're all caught up, & ready for tonite's new episode, in real time & everything. (Although we are PVR'ing it.) The man also did something very sweet & generous for me today, and honestly, I can't figure out where I rated the luck to meet this amazing guy. He's fantastic. Also, he walked to the store to get milk & croutons for our supper tonite.***
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Well, I'm going to get back to my great day. Hope yours was good too!
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(Two of my founts of happiness, in sunshine, with flowers, which are more of my favorite things.)

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*Amoryn doesn't make a "sh" sound yet; her version is "ssssss".

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** What? Not taking the camera for the four-am fuss? How strange.

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***Not all that we are having. Even as a borke student, I don't recall ever feasting on croutons & milk for supper. The man is slow roasting a pork shoulder, Hawaiian Kalua Pork Style, & the croutons are for our amazing spinach caesar salad. More on that later.

We Are Home.

And we're almost all unpacked.

(Amoryn's Bear was very glad to be unpacked. He's a little too big for carry-on - that's Rowr's job.)

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Also, be aware: although my blog & Maui became suddenly incompatible (the computer ate several posts of lovely pics), in order to cope with this:

(My view from the back door, and lovely, but COLD.) I am formally introducing a Maui Wowee policy. This is where I randomly insert cool Hawaii pics. Maui Wowee will carry on until summer, or I decide.

(Interestingly, similar color tones to the above pic - but this is a black sand beach, and the water is foaming surf, not snow & ice.)

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The carry-on with the dregs of the electronics and Big Pink* are the lone hold-outs for unpacking. Big Pink has been press-ganged into helping with a general clarification of the house, and I’ve collected all of my little projects, accessories, & books, drug them to my studio in the basement, and now I’m going to resort, re-prioritize, & replace them. Replacing them means that, depending on the hierarchy of my personal knitting desires & schedules, they’re either shelved, or re-bagged** & put back where they should be. (i.e.: Handbag, bedside table, coffee table, etc.) Considering that I have a house with cats, and thus try to limit the yarn that is left out, there is still a substantial supply of ongoing stuff. I may just leave it all in Big Pink, too.
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Clarification is my new concept for the house. I keep reading Architectural Digest, and being moved by the beautiful open spaces. Then I would look at my house, which is relatively large and open, and think “ACK! Why don’t I get that feeling from this?” I think part of the answer is the drifts of clutter, plants, & toys.*** And so, I’m trying to clarify the organization of the house, to increase the feeling of openness, but retain the base level of clutter****, plants, & toys that are necessary for life in our family.
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I did get some knitting projects done over the holiday – Liesl is one, more on another later. I’ve revised my opinion about Liesl’s need for serious blocking – it appears to be an optical illusion sweater; wearing it, I am hyper conscious of the garter row of the old-shale-y pattern, but looking at it, not so much. I’m finally knitting on the scarf that I started on the flight out – I looked at my ability to mindlessly knit repetitive theme/sanity, and revised my intentions slightly. By that, I mean a lot. I may still frog this & go back to the original concept, but… undecided. This state of a project is usually when it will get shelved, to let my subconscious muddle around with it for a while. I honestly can’t even say how many brilliant solutions come to me as I’m in bed, drifting off, or brushing my teeth in the morning.
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Turns out, in our absence, Suki had a knitting project too. He doesn’t have opposable thumbs, so I’m giving him credit for choosing such a lovely soft yarns out of my knitting bag (after he dug into it - apparently I have a cat that can work zippers, and is intoxicated by yarn fumes), and really sticking to it, even attempting to use the legs of chairs as needles to carry stitches on. It’s that, or I seriously consider the charm of a pair of Siamese cat-fur mittens.

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(This image may be too graphic for those sensitive to images of violence – I’d already unwound the stuff from the chair. The image doesn’t convey the quality of his work, either – there’s about 400 yards of a silk/mohair blend wound up with some fine orange alpaca, all in a knot the size of my head. Liberally dosed with cat slobber, of course.)

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In the spirit of yarn puke, I’ve spent a deal of the morning winding yarns. I had a realization about my Taiyo cardi, & how I wanted it to be, so I wound the yarn into a neat ball, ready to go, and I wound the lovely sock yarn I got in Maui, and then I started in on That D@mn Skein. It’s actually Those; four skeins that I’d purchased, dyed, and am now trying to reskein, which means wind them into a ball, then wind them back to a skein. This is what I do with yarn that I’m planning on selling. This yarn is no longer going to the store though; anything that has been cursed at & flung in rage would surely doom any projects. Also, I’ve had to cut it in multiple places so that I could continue to try & unknot it. The problem isn’t the organic user interface*****; it is that the skeins came from the company completely screwed up. Twisted, snarled. Looked okay on a brief initial inspection, which is why I just tied them in a couple more spots & dyed them, but really; they are a mess. And I feel safe in saying that it’s not me. The first one, I thought, ‘is this me’? The second one, I thought ‘this can’t be me’, the third one, I thought ‘what is this crap?’, and the fourth one, I hurled with rage. And curses. Although I’m charmed by the yarn, & its qualities, the complete arsed disaster that its skein is makes me think I am Never, Ever, Buying anymore. I will not be defeated by this yarn, but by gum, once I get this thing wound, I may just douse it in gasoline & light it on fire.

Speaking of lighting things on fire, I should go & flip the laundry. Although, I don’t put much through the dryer (which makes me think of fire), we hang more, which results in cold clammy fingers. Bah. Laundry is for the birds!

(The birds are at the Garden Of Eden Botanical Garden, on the way to Hana. I look a little tense, because all I could think was "Has the bird man trained his birds not to poo on heads?")
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*Big Pink – A Big Pink suitcase I got in Philly, at the same place where this went on… http://outstandingastonishment.blogspot.com/2006/09/millinery-heart-philly.html . The man mocks me mercilessly, but I love that I watch bags being loaded onto a plane, and know that that one is mine.
**I’ve moved form storing projects exclusively in Ziploc bags to using little cotton drawstring bags that I’ve made. I love them, and they keep my yarn from leaping free to its doom.
***Guess which belongs to whom?
****Clutter is typically compiled of reading material & mail. Books & mages are okay – but I’m starting to look at the mail pile as an active, hostile enemy. I’m serious. Torch & burn, or at least file & recycle.*****Organic User-Interface – Geek Speak for the idiot running the computer, or in this case, ball-winder.

Hey Look! Vol. 1.; updated to Crap on A Crap Cracker, Vol. 1

It's not here anymore. But there were some pictures, with brief yet charming descriptions, and a couple footnotes.
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And now it is gone, & I am out of ambition. So, sadly, no photos for you!
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And rework for me.

I'm so money.

That's all. I'm feeling fabulous.

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Love, K.

Chock full of aloha!

Yes indeed, everyone is in the spirit of things now. Amoryn is no longer looking at this place as an awful jail, and has (thankfully) reconciled herself with sand, and the relaxed people who have taken the place of her hectic parents.

(Trapped in awful beach side jail. Sunset added for extra torture.)

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She seems to be expressing he happiness by dancing & by covering her face with stuff. She likes bombing around in a diaper, and today, she helped put sunscreen on herself! With no screaming!

(Sand moustache.)
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(Nacho cheese eyebrows! Let's hear it for new food! Although Annie, you are totally right.)

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And she was wandering around on her own, too!
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How relaxed are the big people? Well. Yesterday was the first day the man got himself a paper, to catch up on the bad news in the world, & I've been positively dormant on the knitting front. I finished Liesl, and have been picking away knitting on the beach, but I'm processing ideas more than anything else, so I knit some mysterious blob for a while, then rip it all out. And it doesn't make me twitch.

(Liesl. Pretty cute; I am pleased, although it needs closures & a good blocking.)

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Not as cute as this though! (This is a size 6. The size 8 from Canada was a little bit big. ANd much more expensive.)

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I've been thinking a lot today; three years ago, we were having our first dance as a Mr. & Mrs. (I think, the time change + time zones are a little tricky.) If I had any digital pics of us from the wedding, I’d totally post one, but they’re all in my other pants.
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And man, what a fantastic three years. Three years ago, I had no butterflies; I had no last-minute “What-if’s” or “but-maybes”. I knew, going into marriage with the man, that I had no worries. I had found a solid man, someone to stick with me, and love me, and roll his eyes at most of my awful jokes.
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He does laugh at the odd one, just to humor me. (Or maybe he’s laughing at me? Doesn’t matter. It’s coming from a place of love.) And best of all, now we have Amoryn to laugh at too! (Come one. She is darn funny. Please see above nacho cheese pics.)
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And show her things - we're working on a book loving plant person.

Who likes to ham for the camera in the mornings.
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Happy anniversary, family. It totally rocks. And yes, I know that anniversary days are for the man & I - that's why we're headed out for dinner tonite. I have minimal pics of the two of us though... they all must be in my other pants!

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Gotta go get ready for my date! Scrape off the sunscreen, & slap on some warpaint!

Hi there. Aloha, even.

There’s a reason that I’m not emailing much*, you know. It’s because it would feel like I’m gloating. And really, I kind of would be.

(Ha-hah!)

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It's nice here. It's maybe the nicest place I've ever been, particularly because everyone is operating from close to the same "has" level. Most places I travel to, I mull what it would be like to be a homeless person 'here'** and it wouldn't be so rough here, I think. A) Sleeping outside wouldn’t be fatal, apart from falling coconuts, b) the naturally occurring fruits (see (A)) offset the lack of soup kitchens, & c) there's no real influx of homelessness (a la Vancouver or Victoria) because reeeally, if you can afford the flight here, things aren't so bad. (One homeless person will be looked after by the community, or caring individuals. An entire population becomes invisible.)

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(Tough life, eh?)

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Also, the weather. Loving the sheltered side of the islands, yes. And the sun. We were at 10,000' above sea level today (Haleakala - gesundheit!), & it was still nice in a tank top. Like June in Saskatchewan, really. (I realize clouds & more wind would change that dramatically.) However, unlike Saskatchewan, it was very alien, with strange & exotic residents. (Maybe that’s just my opinion because I’m from there, though.*** And it was high up – we were above the clouds. And man, it was some kind of view of the island, I must say.

(We're staying *point* over there.)

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Amoryn is not so enamored with Hawaii – or maybe she’s in a growth spurt, or she’s short on sleep, or it’s her temper, or she’s... um, teething? I don’t know. One nice old couple asked if she was teething. I said no. And then blinked. We’ve become “those people” – the ones with the squalling – no, SQUEEing offspring tucked under one arm, blithely ignoring them, snapping photos or drinking margaritas. That seems the fastest way to get her to snap out of it; not talking, not time outs, not threats (you won’t get that back if you throw it One More Time). Lack of reaction is not the most appealing option when we’re out in public, but now that I think of it, it does seem like she’s trying to provoke us. Would an almost 2-year old have that motive? I didn’t think she was short on positive feedback, but maybe I’ll try increasing that tomorrow. Something’s gotta give, & I just hope it’s not my sanity.

(SQUEE! Give me hugs! SQUEE! Snuggle. SQUEE! Repeat. I love her, but that grimace I am making, I am not so fond of.)

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She’s still adorable though. And she was quite good at the luau the other night. I think she was more taken by the special lighting than the hula, but whatever.

(Daddy, you floss like this.)

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I declined the poi, but did partake healthily of the pit roasted pig. As did the man & his brother. L____ (sister-in-law) is a 'no land animals' vegetarian, so she had the poi.

And either blue sweet potatoes, taro root, or… something else. Not bad though! (It's seafood - get it? See food! Hahahaha! Another mai tai, please...)****
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There were hula dancers – and I loved the hula men. I’d call them hula boys, as the counterpoint to hula girls, but my goodness. With pelvic thrusts like that, men for sure. The hula girls were fantastic; the only reason that the men won out in my opinion was that the girls had these fixed awful smiles on their faces. Eesh. I get it for the “Hollywood Hula”, but for the more traditional dances? Why smile like that? (The girl on the left is an example. Although maybe I would smile like that if I were shaking my coconuts for cash. Who cacn say.)

Amazing. And on that note, I'm taking my coconuts to bed. More updates from paradise to follow!

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*I mean, assuming that I email you to begin with. Otherwise, I guess I’m just like that.

** It all started when I saw a man napping under a date palm in Jordan.

***Transplant a vegan from BC, & she might feel differently, right M____?

****L____, I told you I was going to blog that photo.

Aloha!

First things first: I picked the trashy red. It's proving to be a good choice; it looks well in the light here & it coordinates nicely with the sand.

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I have to say, I am having a hard time turning off my "fromage indicator"* every time I hear someone say aloha. Because dude, we're totally in Maui. We're at Honoapilani (I think), just up from Ka'anapali. No, Honoapilani is our road, we're in... um. I don't know. Honokowai? For a language that uses just 11 of our letters, it is confusing as all get out. I'm starting to stutter in English, just from trying to read the road map & say "turn onto ummmmmmmm Honowokowikimactavish Road"**.

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We're at the Hale Kai, see? There's the man reading on our lanai.

We look out across this little park, which I thought I had taken a photo of. Sadly, you'll have to make do with a view from the little park's beach. I literally took the photo above, then turned around, & took this photo.

Awful, isn't it?

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I am loving it here. It's been beautiful; gorgeous; fantastic; and serene. It's hot enough that I'm never cold enough to put on a sweater, but cool enough that the man & the girl aren't melting & irritable. I think it's perfect, at least, apart from the high pitched SQUEEE noises that Am was making about sand and showers. I think she's over the hump for sand - she'll walk in it, play with it, & pretend*** to eat it now. Showers, well. It's a vacation, and who said she really needs to be clean anyways? With another couple days worth of sunscreen, we can totally make her hair into a mohawk. Or maybe one of those tar ponytails that sailors used to have.

(The background is Uncle M___, & Uncle M___'s shoe. Aunty L___ had the wisdom to move upwind of Am's sand extravaganza. The man was in the ocean.)
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We've got a little one bedroom condo (you've already seen the lanai), and there's a fabulous company here that rents baby stuff. Better yet, they set it up at your place, then bring your carseat to the airport for you, so that you don't have to get 'home' from a 6 hour flight (12 hours total travel time, counting connecting flight & layover & stuff), and then try to sort out how the MF crib goes together. It's a smaller room, so if Am is already awake when I open my eyes, this is what I see:

We reach our fingers through the bars to each other, & it makes me giggle. It also made me reflect on the fact that I'm convinced most mothers are victims of Stockholm syndrome.

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But such happy victims, no?

All right, time to go wake my sleephead up. She was Up Most Of The Night, convinced she wanted to party. I was like "Duuuuude, it's 11:30 (12:30, 1:20, 2:10, 3:05). Go To Sleep." And in an attempt to limit the SQUEEEs of rage****, I'm letting her sleep in. It's only 10:20 here.
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*Related to a bs indicator.

**Please note: this is me making fun of myself; not me making fun of the Hawaiin language or culture. How could I? It's so nice here.

***I took the same approach to sand that I did to garden dirt. I let her eat some, then explained that no, it doesn't taste very good, here's a drink, don't do it again, okay? Seems to work well. And she's had a her Hep shots.

****SQUEEEs of rage are related to, intensified by, or caused by lack of sleep, I think. Also, she was sick for a couple weeks, & got used to the entire universe revolving around her, & bringing her apple juice whenever she wanted. While I still bring her juice, we're coming back to the "rules" & "cooperation" world again, and oi.

Wo. Duuuuuuude.

I just had my mind blown. Nothing to do with our holiday* - we leave tomorrow morning - it's all about knitting.

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I just watched Eunny Jang's provisional cast on video. Wow... I had the niggling idea that the crochet business was the hard way to do it - and I was right! (Other than that, really, all new territory. Rockin'.)

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By chance, if you are a knitter who needs to learn these amazing things, or you are a non-knitter, posessed by curiosity, here's the link.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwG6SJ1z2I

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Or google "Knitting Daily TV: Provisional Cast-Ons".

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All right, enough staying up! I'm for bed, as the morning, she is coming early.

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*Don't get me wrong - I am excited about the holiday. I'll be even more excited when we finally get off the plane tomorrow in Kahului.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!

So, dude, I'm totally stoked. We're going to Maui, we've got a flight, a place to stay, baby stuff rented for the girl, and we found a vehicle to rent.
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It's true that all the cars on Maui were rented. I got a lead from a guy working at one of the agencies; he took pity on me.
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I called "Surf Truck Rentals", and yes, they have a vehicle we can have.
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It's a pick-up truck, and Am's car seat has to sit on the passenger side. The man (mine, not the Surf Truck fellow) was explaining this all to me, and I don't think he got it when I exclaimed "I'm riding bitch!" and then started giggling. It's like a flash-back to my high school years, sort of... the truck part, anyways. The car-seat, the toddler, the Hawaii, the awesome husband, all new.
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Actually for it to be an accurate rep of my high school years, there'd have to be at least 6 people in the cab, along with beer, parkas, & maybe a back pack of homework. No cel phones, no seatbelts, no groping, dammit!
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Anyways. I'm imagining this...

Although I know we're getting a F150. Still. I'm totally planning on parking the girl & the man, to do a little island cruising by myself... Of course, I'm probably going to be headed to the 1 of 2 yarns stores on the island, which maybe blows the stereotypical Maui cruising fantasy a bit, but let's face it. Neither I, nor my idle fancies, are stereotypical, & it's not shocking that yarn is involved either.... and it's probably safer to drive with a couple skeins of yarn under my belt than some of the other options!

Wowee! Maui?

So! In the continuing saga of "The Robinson Family Try To Go On Vacation", we now have flights booked to take us to Maui & back, with a nice number of days in between.

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We also have a condo to stay in - and it was only the fifth palce we called. They were the first people not to laugh at us. Did you know February is high HIGH season there?

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We don't have a car yet, but I have faith.

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We do have almost everything packed - I'm just going to thin things out some, & we're good to go.

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Yes, it's not NZ for a month, but it's someplace away & sunny, and it's a (much) shorter flight, and it's going to be just fine. Sure, the USD is a lot stronger than our dollar (as opposed to the NZD), sure there isn't a huge industry devoted to wool & yarn (there are two shops, both small, and one hand-dyer). But. I don't care. It will be fine. It will be lovely. It will be grand. It's actually quite funny - we're crashing the BIL & SIL's vacatino - they're in a condo just up the road for a week or so while we're there! We get to meet up for afternoon cocktails on the lanai! Huzzah! (Or, aloha, or hoolawakamui-yay, which seems a likely Hawaiian cheer, after reading what they name places.)

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Now, the only decision left is... what color do I paint my toes? I have a serious collection of OPI polish (do you know OPI polish? Best. Nail polish. Ever.), and I've narrowed the selection down to the following - I think of them as true red, trashy red (shiny, and that almost pinky color that I associate in my memory with the cheap Revlon my cousin D___ & I bought as kids), melon, Vietnam Pink (because that's the color I wore to Vietnam), Jewel of India (because that's what it's actually named, & it's stuck in my head), & electric blue.

(The suspects: Thrill of Brazil; You Rock-Apulco Red!; Bright Lights, Big Color; Ladies & Magenta-Men; Jewel of India, & Blue My Mind)
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(See? That's really their names.) (And Cold FX in the background.)

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I feel, despite the fact that this could be regarded as a trite thing, that it's a big decision. The appropriate color can set the tone for the entire vacation! And OPI polishes will, in fact, get a girl through three or four weeks of hard wear, provided you base & top coat appropriately. Really! (I have a thing about painting my toes. I like them painted, & I hate them chipped. I have arrived at OPI after some research & experimentation. (Base coat + two - three layers of color + top coat + maybe rapid-dry. Awesome wear. No chipping. It'll grow off before it chips. Also, swipe your nails with polish remover before you base coat - it removes any oils & gets a wicked finish!)

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I'm leaning towards the trashy red - although Acapulco is in Mexico - or the melon. Or maybe the blue. The red went to Napa last fall, & the pink & the purple aren't right. Also, the red will match Liesl - see?

Isn't she lovely? (ignore the needles sticking out of my armpit, & the bits of white cotton waste thread.) I was having a heck of a time this morning trying to take a pic; rest assured, it actually is a sweater with two sleeves, not a cape, as it appears. I'm currently aiming for long sleeves & a cropped body. Hopefully the end result won't be too 80's. Or too afghan - the stitch is closely based around the Old Shale / Feather & Fan pattern, & we all have a gramma who has a big ole' acrylic throw on her couch. Maybe my cardi will be good camo for my alternate life in an alternate universe, where I'm a superspy, intent on overthrowing the evil empire of Grannies.

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Maybe I'm still a little short on sleep. That seems more likely. On that note.... zzzz.

Updates from the couch.

Or, more properly, the loveseat. The man gets the couch; he's bigger.* Also, if it's sunny, I'll get the sun sitting here. Maybe I'm not a complete altruist. But it's not sunny today, so I must be nice. At any rate, I'm ensconced on the loveseat with my computer. (I fished my laptop & power cable out from the luggage. I've sporadically unpacked - as in "Where's that thing that I need?" - and left everything else in the bags. Did I mention that we were fully packed (other than morning toiletries), and had decided to go, when I got sick?)

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I've been poking about the internet. I know I sort of resolved not to just read read read, & be nothing but a pair of eyes surfing around the internet - I should write, & stuff, but man. How much moaning about minor (yet vile) illness can a blogger blog? What else is new in my life?

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Well, in the holiday knitting, as the man & I were packing, he did look askance at my knitting pile. "Do you need to take that?" "Um. Yes? Um. (looking at stuff that realllly needed to be packed) No? I can get yarn for projects there?" "I thought that was the point." Hm. Okay. So instead of packing all my potential travel fantasy companions, I just took one**. And my interchangeable needles. And some extra dpns.

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I decided I deserved some easy (pre-decided) knitting, & fished out the project. It's a Liesl ( http://ysolda.com/store/sweaters/liesl/ ), in a test dye of mine that I overdyed in my slowcooker. The colour was wretched before, but now it's luverly. And soft. In my head, I'm aiming for sort of a shruggable cardi; something to keep my shoulders and arms warm as I knit or read. If it's really great, then super! I'll be able to wear it with sundresses*** in the office this summer. It's coming along well, I'm pleased so far, although it is a mystery as to how I will finish it. It's got a high neck, but long sleeves? Short? How long will the body be? I'm not sure how far my yarn will get me, because I'd just dyed a random pile of it to see how it would take the dyes (& my ideas). (I'm not knitting too much - because - gack - I don't really feel like it. I MUST be ill.)

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Also, do I have a set of 8mm dpns? Do I have another 8mm circular? And where on earth would either of these items be, if I do have them? I just read the Harlot's post for today, and I admit, I'm feeling a little nervous.

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I'm also feeling like I shouldn't leave the house, so. I guess if I can't find the needles I need for Liesl's sleeves, that I'll start back on my "plane" knitting idea. There's another project that's been pre-decided. Sometimes, it's the deciding that seems to be the hardest part of any project.

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As a note, when I was discussing my holiday fantasy knit-list, I mentioned Val's yarn, and that I'm finally pleased with it. Please note! My original dissatisfaction was because of my original and GARISH dye-job. I had a great idea, but some lurid execution. Val's yarn was in no way to blame, & I look forward to going home & stopping by to see her sheeps again. And maybe get some more yarn, too. (http://lifewithsheep.blogspot.com/) (Someday I'll get clever & figure out how to embed a link behind a word. It's like I almost know, but today is not my day for figuring it out.)

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Another benefit of being at home is that we can continue watching the Battlestar Galactica's that we have borrowed from C & piled up in front of the DVD's. I used to never have a television, you know, and I guess that I was a little bit of a granola girl. I just could not figure out how you end up with a tv show fixation. Hah. Thanks to Tony Soprano, Gil Grissom, & the Adama boys, I guess I've learned. Although we can't watch any more until the man's talk radio show is done. I only wish I was joking.

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And that's all for today folks... I guess I did have something to say! Who would have ever known? (When I remember/figure out where the camera is, I'll take a pic of Liesl. For now, text-heavy entry.)

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*And so I let him have the couch because I love him, & he needs the space, not because of the classic bully "he's bigger than me".

**Took to the hallway, then the closet.

***Men! Why do you keep the AC turned up so high! Do you not realize that it essentially limits your enjoyment of ladies in sundresses? If it is July, and every woman in the office is wearing a turtleneck (with a bolo tie, 'cause Stampede, yo), you're doing it wrong.

Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I thought they were on the mend. And maybe they are, but I was smote at puke o'clock this morning, thus confirming that the universe does NOT want us to go to New Zealand, having thus far sent plague (the man's bronchitis) and pestilence (Am's sickness, which at first I thought was maybe a little brush with food poisoning, but NOT). If I could remember who the other horsemen of the apocalypse are, I'd be concerned. Is recurrent laundry one? Because I have washed more loads of sheets in the past four days...

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I'm so crappy I can't even focus on the loss of a month holiday. I'm just glad I got smote when I did - because if puke o'clock had held off 12 hours, we would have all been trapped in a plane on the way to Singapore. And we were going to brave it, but the absence of all fully funtional adults means no boarding no planes, no how, no way.

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At least the points we booked the flights on aren't gone (yet). We would've had to give them 22 days notice* for the points to go back to the account, so now as long as we book & fly by July, using the points which are now in some weird purgatory, it's okay.

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I don't even care. I'm going to go and curl in to a ball & hope that it all goes away.

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*Random. Who gives 22 days as an official policy for anything?

Here we go! (Here's hoping...)

Well. This time tomorrow, I may or may not be on a plane, depending on the health of my family. I am cautiously optimistic.

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I am also busy busy packing.

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And syncing Ipods. That too. I stuffed movies into the man's ipod, & got Am a big ole set of 80's dj headphones, so she can (maybe) watch movies for a while.

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Gotta get back to the bags!