Hi there. Aloha, even.

There’s a reason that I’m not emailing much*, you know. It’s because it would feel like I’m gloating. And really, I kind of would be.

(Ha-hah!)

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It's nice here. It's maybe the nicest place I've ever been, particularly because everyone is operating from close to the same "has" level. Most places I travel to, I mull what it would be like to be a homeless person 'here'** and it wouldn't be so rough here, I think. A) Sleeping outside wouldn’t be fatal, apart from falling coconuts, b) the naturally occurring fruits (see (A)) offset the lack of soup kitchens, & c) there's no real influx of homelessness (a la Vancouver or Victoria) because reeeally, if you can afford the flight here, things aren't so bad. (One homeless person will be looked after by the community, or caring individuals. An entire population becomes invisible.)

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(Tough life, eh?)

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Also, the weather. Loving the sheltered side of the islands, yes. And the sun. We were at 10,000' above sea level today (Haleakala - gesundheit!), & it was still nice in a tank top. Like June in Saskatchewan, really. (I realize clouds & more wind would change that dramatically.) However, unlike Saskatchewan, it was very alien, with strange & exotic residents. (Maybe that’s just my opinion because I’m from there, though.*** And it was high up – we were above the clouds. And man, it was some kind of view of the island, I must say.

(We're staying *point* over there.)

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Amoryn is not so enamored with Hawaii – or maybe she’s in a growth spurt, or she’s short on sleep, or it’s her temper, or she’s... um, teething? I don’t know. One nice old couple asked if she was teething. I said no. And then blinked. We’ve become “those people” – the ones with the squalling – no, SQUEEing offspring tucked under one arm, blithely ignoring them, snapping photos or drinking margaritas. That seems the fastest way to get her to snap out of it; not talking, not time outs, not threats (you won’t get that back if you throw it One More Time). Lack of reaction is not the most appealing option when we’re out in public, but now that I think of it, it does seem like she’s trying to provoke us. Would an almost 2-year old have that motive? I didn’t think she was short on positive feedback, but maybe I’ll try increasing that tomorrow. Something’s gotta give, & I just hope it’s not my sanity.

(SQUEE! Give me hugs! SQUEE! Snuggle. SQUEE! Repeat. I love her, but that grimace I am making, I am not so fond of.)

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She’s still adorable though. And she was quite good at the luau the other night. I think she was more taken by the special lighting than the hula, but whatever.

(Daddy, you floss like this.)

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I declined the poi, but did partake healthily of the pit roasted pig. As did the man & his brother. L____ (sister-in-law) is a 'no land animals' vegetarian, so she had the poi.

And either blue sweet potatoes, taro root, or… something else. Not bad though! (It's seafood - get it? See food! Hahahaha! Another mai tai, please...)****
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There were hula dancers – and I loved the hula men. I’d call them hula boys, as the counterpoint to hula girls, but my goodness. With pelvic thrusts like that, men for sure. The hula girls were fantastic; the only reason that the men won out in my opinion was that the girls had these fixed awful smiles on their faces. Eesh. I get it for the “Hollywood Hula”, but for the more traditional dances? Why smile like that? (The girl on the left is an example. Although maybe I would smile like that if I were shaking my coconuts for cash. Who cacn say.)

Amazing. And on that note, I'm taking my coconuts to bed. More updates from paradise to follow!

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*I mean, assuming that I email you to begin with. Otherwise, I guess I’m just like that.

** It all started when I saw a man napping under a date palm in Jordan.

***Transplant a vegan from BC, & she might feel differently, right M____?

****L____, I told you I was going to blog that photo.

Aloha!

First things first: I picked the trashy red. It's proving to be a good choice; it looks well in the light here & it coordinates nicely with the sand.

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I have to say, I am having a hard time turning off my "fromage indicator"* every time I hear someone say aloha. Because dude, we're totally in Maui. We're at Honoapilani (I think), just up from Ka'anapali. No, Honoapilani is our road, we're in... um. I don't know. Honokowai? For a language that uses just 11 of our letters, it is confusing as all get out. I'm starting to stutter in English, just from trying to read the road map & say "turn onto ummmmmmmm Honowokowikimactavish Road"**.

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We're at the Hale Kai, see? There's the man reading on our lanai.

We look out across this little park, which I thought I had taken a photo of. Sadly, you'll have to make do with a view from the little park's beach. I literally took the photo above, then turned around, & took this photo.

Awful, isn't it?

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I am loving it here. It's been beautiful; gorgeous; fantastic; and serene. It's hot enough that I'm never cold enough to put on a sweater, but cool enough that the man & the girl aren't melting & irritable. I think it's perfect, at least, apart from the high pitched SQUEEE noises that Am was making about sand and showers. I think she's over the hump for sand - she'll walk in it, play with it, & pretend*** to eat it now. Showers, well. It's a vacation, and who said she really needs to be clean anyways? With another couple days worth of sunscreen, we can totally make her hair into a mohawk. Or maybe one of those tar ponytails that sailors used to have.

(The background is Uncle M___, & Uncle M___'s shoe. Aunty L___ had the wisdom to move upwind of Am's sand extravaganza. The man was in the ocean.)
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We've got a little one bedroom condo (you've already seen the lanai), and there's a fabulous company here that rents baby stuff. Better yet, they set it up at your place, then bring your carseat to the airport for you, so that you don't have to get 'home' from a 6 hour flight (12 hours total travel time, counting connecting flight & layover & stuff), and then try to sort out how the MF crib goes together. It's a smaller room, so if Am is already awake when I open my eyes, this is what I see:

We reach our fingers through the bars to each other, & it makes me giggle. It also made me reflect on the fact that I'm convinced most mothers are victims of Stockholm syndrome.

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But such happy victims, no?

All right, time to go wake my sleephead up. She was Up Most Of The Night, convinced she wanted to party. I was like "Duuuuude, it's 11:30 (12:30, 1:20, 2:10, 3:05). Go To Sleep." And in an attempt to limit the SQUEEEs of rage****, I'm letting her sleep in. It's only 10:20 here.
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*Related to a bs indicator.

**Please note: this is me making fun of myself; not me making fun of the Hawaiin language or culture. How could I? It's so nice here.

***I took the same approach to sand that I did to garden dirt. I let her eat some, then explained that no, it doesn't taste very good, here's a drink, don't do it again, okay? Seems to work well. And she's had a her Hep shots.

****SQUEEEs of rage are related to, intensified by, or caused by lack of sleep, I think. Also, she was sick for a couple weeks, & got used to the entire universe revolving around her, & bringing her apple juice whenever she wanted. While I still bring her juice, we're coming back to the "rules" & "cooperation" world again, and oi.

Wo. Duuuuuuude.

I just had my mind blown. Nothing to do with our holiday* - we leave tomorrow morning - it's all about knitting.

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I just watched Eunny Jang's provisional cast on video. Wow... I had the niggling idea that the crochet business was the hard way to do it - and I was right! (Other than that, really, all new territory. Rockin'.)

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By chance, if you are a knitter who needs to learn these amazing things, or you are a non-knitter, posessed by curiosity, here's the link.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSwG6SJ1z2I

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Or google "Knitting Daily TV: Provisional Cast-Ons".

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All right, enough staying up! I'm for bed, as the morning, she is coming early.

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*Don't get me wrong - I am excited about the holiday. I'll be even more excited when we finally get off the plane tomorrow in Kahului.

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude!

So, dude, I'm totally stoked. We're going to Maui, we've got a flight, a place to stay, baby stuff rented for the girl, and we found a vehicle to rent.
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It's true that all the cars on Maui were rented. I got a lead from a guy working at one of the agencies; he took pity on me.
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I called "Surf Truck Rentals", and yes, they have a vehicle we can have.
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It's a pick-up truck, and Am's car seat has to sit on the passenger side. The man (mine, not the Surf Truck fellow) was explaining this all to me, and I don't think he got it when I exclaimed "I'm riding bitch!" and then started giggling. It's like a flash-back to my high school years, sort of... the truck part, anyways. The car-seat, the toddler, the Hawaii, the awesome husband, all new.
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Actually for it to be an accurate rep of my high school years, there'd have to be at least 6 people in the cab, along with beer, parkas, & maybe a back pack of homework. No cel phones, no seatbelts, no groping, dammit!
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Anyways. I'm imagining this...

Although I know we're getting a F150. Still. I'm totally planning on parking the girl & the man, to do a little island cruising by myself... Of course, I'm probably going to be headed to the 1 of 2 yarns stores on the island, which maybe blows the stereotypical Maui cruising fantasy a bit, but let's face it. Neither I, nor my idle fancies, are stereotypical, & it's not shocking that yarn is involved either.... and it's probably safer to drive with a couple skeins of yarn under my belt than some of the other options!

Wowee! Maui?

So! In the continuing saga of "The Robinson Family Try To Go On Vacation", we now have flights booked to take us to Maui & back, with a nice number of days in between.

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We also have a condo to stay in - and it was only the fifth palce we called. They were the first people not to laugh at us. Did you know February is high HIGH season there?

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We don't have a car yet, but I have faith.

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We do have almost everything packed - I'm just going to thin things out some, & we're good to go.

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Yes, it's not NZ for a month, but it's someplace away & sunny, and it's a (much) shorter flight, and it's going to be just fine. Sure, the USD is a lot stronger than our dollar (as opposed to the NZD), sure there isn't a huge industry devoted to wool & yarn (there are two shops, both small, and one hand-dyer). But. I don't care. It will be fine. It will be lovely. It will be grand. It's actually quite funny - we're crashing the BIL & SIL's vacatino - they're in a condo just up the road for a week or so while we're there! We get to meet up for afternoon cocktails on the lanai! Huzzah! (Or, aloha, or hoolawakamui-yay, which seems a likely Hawaiian cheer, after reading what they name places.)

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Now, the only decision left is... what color do I paint my toes? I have a serious collection of OPI polish (do you know OPI polish? Best. Nail polish. Ever.), and I've narrowed the selection down to the following - I think of them as true red, trashy red (shiny, and that almost pinky color that I associate in my memory with the cheap Revlon my cousin D___ & I bought as kids), melon, Vietnam Pink (because that's the color I wore to Vietnam), Jewel of India (because that's what it's actually named, & it's stuck in my head), & electric blue.

(The suspects: Thrill of Brazil; You Rock-Apulco Red!; Bright Lights, Big Color; Ladies & Magenta-Men; Jewel of India, & Blue My Mind)
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(See? That's really their names.) (And Cold FX in the background.)

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I feel, despite the fact that this could be regarded as a trite thing, that it's a big decision. The appropriate color can set the tone for the entire vacation! And OPI polishes will, in fact, get a girl through three or four weeks of hard wear, provided you base & top coat appropriately. Really! (I have a thing about painting my toes. I like them painted, & I hate them chipped. I have arrived at OPI after some research & experimentation. (Base coat + two - three layers of color + top coat + maybe rapid-dry. Awesome wear. No chipping. It'll grow off before it chips. Also, swipe your nails with polish remover before you base coat - it removes any oils & gets a wicked finish!)

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I'm leaning towards the trashy red - although Acapulco is in Mexico - or the melon. Or maybe the blue. The red went to Napa last fall, & the pink & the purple aren't right. Also, the red will match Liesl - see?

Isn't she lovely? (ignore the needles sticking out of my armpit, & the bits of white cotton waste thread.) I was having a heck of a time this morning trying to take a pic; rest assured, it actually is a sweater with two sleeves, not a cape, as it appears. I'm currently aiming for long sleeves & a cropped body. Hopefully the end result won't be too 80's. Or too afghan - the stitch is closely based around the Old Shale / Feather & Fan pattern, & we all have a gramma who has a big ole' acrylic throw on her couch. Maybe my cardi will be good camo for my alternate life in an alternate universe, where I'm a superspy, intent on overthrowing the evil empire of Grannies.

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Maybe I'm still a little short on sleep. That seems more likely. On that note.... zzzz.

Updates from the couch.

Or, more properly, the loveseat. The man gets the couch; he's bigger.* Also, if it's sunny, I'll get the sun sitting here. Maybe I'm not a complete altruist. But it's not sunny today, so I must be nice. At any rate, I'm ensconced on the loveseat with my computer. (I fished my laptop & power cable out from the luggage. I've sporadically unpacked - as in "Where's that thing that I need?" - and left everything else in the bags. Did I mention that we were fully packed (other than morning toiletries), and had decided to go, when I got sick?)

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I've been poking about the internet. I know I sort of resolved not to just read read read, & be nothing but a pair of eyes surfing around the internet - I should write, & stuff, but man. How much moaning about minor (yet vile) illness can a blogger blog? What else is new in my life?

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Well, in the holiday knitting, as the man & I were packing, he did look askance at my knitting pile. "Do you need to take that?" "Um. Yes? Um. (looking at stuff that realllly needed to be packed) No? I can get yarn for projects there?" "I thought that was the point." Hm. Okay. So instead of packing all my potential travel fantasy companions, I just took one**. And my interchangeable needles. And some extra dpns.

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I decided I deserved some easy (pre-decided) knitting, & fished out the project. It's a Liesl ( http://ysolda.com/store/sweaters/liesl/ ), in a test dye of mine that I overdyed in my slowcooker. The colour was wretched before, but now it's luverly. And soft. In my head, I'm aiming for sort of a shruggable cardi; something to keep my shoulders and arms warm as I knit or read. If it's really great, then super! I'll be able to wear it with sundresses*** in the office this summer. It's coming along well, I'm pleased so far, although it is a mystery as to how I will finish it. It's got a high neck, but long sleeves? Short? How long will the body be? I'm not sure how far my yarn will get me, because I'd just dyed a random pile of it to see how it would take the dyes (& my ideas). (I'm not knitting too much - because - gack - I don't really feel like it. I MUST be ill.)

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Also, do I have a set of 8mm dpns? Do I have another 8mm circular? And where on earth would either of these items be, if I do have them? I just read the Harlot's post for today, and I admit, I'm feeling a little nervous.

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I'm also feeling like I shouldn't leave the house, so. I guess if I can't find the needles I need for Liesl's sleeves, that I'll start back on my "plane" knitting idea. There's another project that's been pre-decided. Sometimes, it's the deciding that seems to be the hardest part of any project.

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As a note, when I was discussing my holiday fantasy knit-list, I mentioned Val's yarn, and that I'm finally pleased with it. Please note! My original dissatisfaction was because of my original and GARISH dye-job. I had a great idea, but some lurid execution. Val's yarn was in no way to blame, & I look forward to going home & stopping by to see her sheeps again. And maybe get some more yarn, too. (http://lifewithsheep.blogspot.com/) (Someday I'll get clever & figure out how to embed a link behind a word. It's like I almost know, but today is not my day for figuring it out.)

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Another benefit of being at home is that we can continue watching the Battlestar Galactica's that we have borrowed from C & piled up in front of the DVD's. I used to never have a television, you know, and I guess that I was a little bit of a granola girl. I just could not figure out how you end up with a tv show fixation. Hah. Thanks to Tony Soprano, Gil Grissom, & the Adama boys, I guess I've learned. Although we can't watch any more until the man's talk radio show is done. I only wish I was joking.

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And that's all for today folks... I guess I did have something to say! Who would have ever known? (When I remember/figure out where the camera is, I'll take a pic of Liesl. For now, text-heavy entry.)

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*And so I let him have the couch because I love him, & he needs the space, not because of the classic bully "he's bigger than me".

**Took to the hallway, then the closet.

***Men! Why do you keep the AC turned up so high! Do you not realize that it essentially limits your enjoyment of ladies in sundresses? If it is July, and every woman in the office is wearing a turtleneck (with a bolo tie, 'cause Stampede, yo), you're doing it wrong.

Blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I thought they were on the mend. And maybe they are, but I was smote at puke o'clock this morning, thus confirming that the universe does NOT want us to go to New Zealand, having thus far sent plague (the man's bronchitis) and pestilence (Am's sickness, which at first I thought was maybe a little brush with food poisoning, but NOT). If I could remember who the other horsemen of the apocalypse are, I'd be concerned. Is recurrent laundry one? Because I have washed more loads of sheets in the past four days...

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I'm so crappy I can't even focus on the loss of a month holiday. I'm just glad I got smote when I did - because if puke o'clock had held off 12 hours, we would have all been trapped in a plane on the way to Singapore. And we were going to brave it, but the absence of all fully funtional adults means no boarding no planes, no how, no way.

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At least the points we booked the flights on aren't gone (yet). We would've had to give them 22 days notice* for the points to go back to the account, so now as long as we book & fly by July, using the points which are now in some weird purgatory, it's okay.

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I don't even care. I'm going to go and curl in to a ball & hope that it all goes away.

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*Random. Who gives 22 days as an official policy for anything?

Here we go! (Here's hoping...)

Well. This time tomorrow, I may or may not be on a plane, depending on the health of my family. I am cautiously optimistic.

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I am also busy busy packing.

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And syncing Ipods. That too. I stuffed movies into the man's ipod, & got Am a big ole set of 80's dj headphones, so she can (maybe) watch movies for a while.

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Gotta get back to the bags!

Random Smattering...

No, not what I'm covered in, although that would be a good guess. Am was mostly civilized at lunch, & so I have no smatters of anything smushed into my clothing right now. (For a change. Holla if ya hear me.)

(Bellybutton coverup, & inspection.)

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No, it's more about the topics in this post. In no particular order:

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1) Amoryn is sleeping right now! We had tried doping her up on a half dose of Gravol. While she didn't appear much different than usual, she did not have a nap. She went to her room, she was laid down several times, and the man was left in charge of the monitor, & by extension, the kid. Turns out, "She invented a new kind of crisco party." What???? She stayed in bed - which is about the only good point in this story - but did rummage through the basket of her toiletries next to the bed & find a wee jar of Vaseline. When the man walked in, apparently she had one hand stuffed wrist-deep into the jar, was standing up in her bed banging on the head board & the venetian blinds, and had coated herself, her bedding, her stuffed animals, the walls, & the blinds in a liberal yet gobby coating of Vaseline. (I forgot, the other good point was that the man tidied it all up.) So today, with mild trepidation, I tried on a half dose of allergy meds. Again, no real difference - but she went to sleep! This is great!! Full dose trials to follow.

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2) We leave for vacation in a week. This is supremely exciting, except for the flight, which I may have mentioned I'm moderately terrified of. I did think it was 32 hours of travel time, but now the man tells me he miscalculated & it's more like 41. I refuse to beleive in such things; I'd wrapped my mind around co-wrangling a toddler for 32 hours, so that's what I'm sticking with. Honestly, will I even know the difference by then?

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3) Item 2 is why item 1.

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4) I got a new tattoo! Yay! It's actually from the parlour just down from one of my fave LYS's, and I lucked into it; I'd figured that I would have to wait until late March, but the artist had a cancellation. So yippee! It's mostly healed up & not peely or scabby. If you hace tatts, you know what I mean. If you don't, well. There's a reason why people hide their new tattoos.

(It's a girl bluebird - that's the color they are.)
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5) I haven't got to knit nearly enough lately. I'm offsetting this by mentally planning my holiday knitting. Want to see what I've got in mind?

From Fitted Knits, for the yarn from Val, which I've overdyed & am quite pleased with. (She's on Etsy as Wooly Wool of the West, I beleive, I'll look up her link later. See the last point.)

From a link I found on Ysolda, for Zeigeist yarns, the Selbu Modern. Intended for the yarn from Annie - dazzling! (http://spinknitthefiberqueen.blogspot.com/)

For fun, also from Fitted Knits, using the actual yarn called for in the pattern. Crazy.

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Plus I'm mulling armwarmers & legwarmers & stuff & well. You know how it goes. My muse, she's a chatterbox - and I love her dearly.
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(I'm trying to ignore the limitations that my luggage space will impose on this list.)

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6) I'm tucking the loose ends into the bookkeeping - I can't finish the GST until Friday, but I can put the T4s to bed.

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7) I'm sewing like a fiend for the trip - leggings for Am & I, dresses for Am, pants for the man. Apart from Am's fixation on the serger, it's going well. I've caught her trying to pet Ghengis even when I'm not sewing, and I keep explaining that this is a very special, delicate machine that ONLY MUM GETS TO TOUCH. Not even Daddy get to use this. Maybe when she's bigger I will show her, but that is at least a decade in the future. (It's a 5 thread serger! APart from the fact that she could easily screw it up - it's got a blade & is FAST. There's no way I'm showing her how to use that machine for a loooong time. The sewing machine is where we'll start. Only one tension, + bobbin. Way less danger to little fingers & expensive machines.)

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8) We have an appointment we have to leave for in 5 minutes... so I'll be on my way, intarweb!

(Apart from Am, the pics were shamelessly borrowed from Ravelry - kudos to everyone's beautiful knitting, I didn't include

Life's like what?

I'm not sure what I expected my life to be like when I was little. Usually, when I stop & think "I never expected life would be like this", it's a good occasion, with awe & wonderment & joy.

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For example, travel.

Seeing Petra in Jordan.

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Seeing the Brooklyn Bridge. That kind of cool moment.

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Or meeting my little girl for the first time.

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Realizing how much fun she is...

(Accessorizing. That's my girl!)

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And how lucky I am & how great my family is. That sort of thing.

(Reading after a long day.)

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Yesterday, however... On my way home from the office, the traffic announcer said: "And we're backed up in the NE at Street X and Street Y because of another drive-by shooting."

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And I thought - those bloody gangs. At least it's not on my way home. And then I stopped.

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Since when has a gangland drive-by murder become simply a traffic hassle? When did I start living in a place with that kind of gang warfare? And most importantly, how did I get to the point where my brain processes that kind of information as pertinent ONLY to my commute?

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I'm trying to make a point today of doing and thinking good things, and to try to help somebody else. Better yet, help somebody help somebody else! Ha. I've got it figured out.

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Now to carry on with my day's plan, ha-hah. If only I can figure out where I put my scissors... they're the pivotal first step on today's path...

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It's Almost Like Decenber

A couple years ago, I had the funniest winter. My brain was quite convinced that there should be an "n" in December. I rode out that spasm of dyslexia, and have since been fine.
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Until today.
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Today, I thought I would work on the crossword over lunch. I filled in three words before I realized that I'd transposed the horizontal & vertical, & completely disregarded the number cues. (In other words, put the word wherever you want it.) I stopped, erased everything, and put the words into the right places. I'd filled in all the words I could, & was doing the re-read of the missing word's clues, and I found myself wishing that the following existed:

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1) Leomard Cohen - famous Camadian singer & poet, noted for his angst-ridden work and his incredible resemblance to Ross Geller from Friends.

(Tell me I'm wrong.)

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2) Omarthic - a subset of mathematics, which correlates equations to love poetry in an attempt to name the stars.
"Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas." ~Albert Einstein
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3) Abroggle - a messy, complicated situation. No negative connotation attached. Occasionally, a mandatory stage on the way to enlightenment or a finished project.

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That's when I realized that my brain was all abroggle, and decided to put Am down for her nap, start some laundry, & continue the bookkeeping. Almost done - huzzah! Then I shall commence issuing slips & compiling government remittances and such. I know how to rock it, yeah.

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*Please note -the absence of any H's in this post are not related to my brain & its function; tey're due to the new keyboard tat I need to re-box & exchange. But first I need to find the receipt. I like the keyboard, it's just tat the H & te space bar stick. Why is it that the exchange is my responsibility, anyways? Souldn't it be te man's? Oh well.

Again with the silence?

This reminds me of - actually - this is really a lot like - how I met my husband. But that's a story for another day.
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You see internet, I still love you. (Miss you, need you, blah blah.) But the world? It is conspiring against me.
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Christmas was wonderful, and fun, and really just plain great. No big awful drama, no conflict, just lots of trying to keep Am from unwrapping all the presents. She still doesn't quite get that there's things IN the wrapping paper, it's more that she has paper that she can rip. It was sad, missing Hugh, but the low grade chaos created by the kids helped with that.
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We finally got home, and heaved a sigh of relief. As Am was happily diving into her (old familiar)box of books, and the man was manfully shovelling the driveway, I turned the tv on for some background noise/light while unpacking everything.
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However, the cable company was having none of it. "No tv for you! No internet either!" Fine. So it wasn't until the next day that I realized that there's something wrong with my computer.
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It's like it's developed some kind of short term memeory loss. Things saved to my hard disks are still there, from what I can tell, but every time I shut it off, when it turns on again, it's like it's never been on before.
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So? No big deal, just deal with the helpful "Welcome to XP!" bubbles... except, as I gradually, & with mounting horror, discover, Big Deal. My Outlook is completely AWOL. I can reinstall it, sure, but I have to reconfigure my email accounts & stuff. Also, all my emails... all my saved, archived emails, are gone. Gone, gone, where, I don't know...
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And my itunes, similarily, needs a re-install. I did figure out how to remap the library, so that's nice, but the playlists are gone. Well, that's okay, I can manually rebuild them using my ipod as a reference, or something. Except...
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Three days ago my ipod refused to wake up. It was fine, then it was not. There was no dropping, no water, no trauma. I charged the crap out of him, even, and nothing. I'm taking him to the apple store in the hopes that someone there will say "Oh, dummy, just do this" *waves magic wand*" and he'll wake up again. I will gladly have some geek in bright colors call me a dummy, if they can wake up my ipod again.
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I was distraught over the computer thing - especailly my emails - and I'm having a hard time having any faith in it's ability to do anything. Plus, there's the rage+woe bomb - as in - "why did this happen? how can I fix it? what the HELL am I supposed to take time away from to dick with this needless shitebox?" So I've been avoiding the computer, and you, Internet. The man bought me a groovy ergonomic keyboard for Xmas, and I'm afraid I'm hurting his feelings, but I can't get over my revulsion at the computer issue* long enough to install it.
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And I'm genuinely grieved over my Ipod... if he really is dead, I kind of want to bury him in the backyard, in the little tin tea box that kept him safe for so long. Why yes, I did anthropomorphise him. He kept me company all the time, & sang me songs, & was a boon companion. Why shouldn't I feel like he's kind of a person - a little, shiny-bummed person?
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I'm off to go see the Apple store, with hope & a comatose Ipod. Wish us luck!
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*- Okay, fine, a quick story for a footnote: The man & I met through online dating. We'd sent a couple emails back & forth, & my cuomputer died in tax season, as I was moving. I was entirely too exhausted by tax season + moving to worry about some guy I'd sent two emails to, so I just put my head down & got on with things. Come June, when the furor quieted & I fixed my computer, I found an email that said "You seemed nice, but if you're not interested, let me know, don't be all rude & stuff & junk." I shrugged, figured that since that email was well over a month old, I'd just write hime off, he's probably just a weirdo anyways, and hit the delete button. THEN I sent an email to everyone in myaddress book saying "Hi! I've been out of the loop, have moved, etc etc...", without realzing that I'd put him INTO my address book. After receiving a masterfully worded email, something about "Gee, since I know where you love, want to meet for a date?", hyperventilating about being killed in my sleep by an internet weirdo, and a coffee date, here we are. Happy and married and procreated and gardening and stuff and junk.

Eeee!

It's almost Christmas! Despite my misgivings about both the Christian faith and the origin of CHristmas, I can't help but be excited by it all. Everyone is nice to each other (at least in my world), all sorts of positive surprises come to light (ie: new Ipod vs: the clap) (a completely non-reality based example, really), and I get to see my family and show off my girl to sorts of her adoring fans. All in all, it's great.

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Now I have to go pack & get ready to go. T minus nap time people! Let's move! We need the prezzies, the kid's food & accoutrements, the other prezzies, the knitting for the road.... The clothes, the playpen, the cameras, erm. So do we really need the spare tire?

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I'm leaving my laptop behind, so it'll be a week without internet! We'll be having lovely fun. Talk to you closer to the New Year, hope Santy brings you what you asked for.

Tis The Sneason!

This is a lame post. Why? The cold. I mean, the weather, whatever. But my sinuses? Gynack. I will come up wioth a better post soon, I promise, but for now, really, mehhhhhhhhhhh. I was just tired of thinking that I needed to update things, so the note wasn't the most current post up. So yes, gnarg.

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(PS: Christmas is coming! Eeeee!)

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(PPS: My only other comfort is that I'm the only one suffering from this crud.)

An Open Note of Bile & Imprecation

Dear _____,
Don’t send me smiley face emails, you twit. Your lackadaisical approach to your job caused me to waste my morning, and you continue to waste my time, which is precious and scant. I’d wish ill upon you, but we both know the odds on the ______ group finding a competent replacement for you. Just do your job – correctly - the first time – and don’t send me bloody smiley faces.

Happy Holidays!!!! :)
K.

Evolution of a Pig-Tail

Earliest pig-tail: learning to use simple tools.

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Middle pig-tail: evolving literacy.

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Modern Piggy-tail: laptop vs. puppy?

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This post has been brought to you by the number "2",

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And by the letter pig-tail.

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(It doesn't hurt that the pig-tailee is so darn cute, eh?)

Ditzy Diagonal Scarf on the loose...

Hey. Whatch been doing? I've....

...dyed a bunch of yarn. (It was late when I was done. I was tired, and also, ready for bed, hence no eyeliner.) I've named it "Therese Oddball", the first of my Oddball family of yarns. (I chose Therese because S_____ noted that when knit up, it almot feels like terry. A lot nicer & classier though...)

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Then I created a scarf pattern for the delicious yarn, modelled here by the almost lethally curvaceous S___.

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Doesn't she have the prettiest eyes? Anyways. I took the pattern & the other yarns, & I've created kits that are currently for sale on Etsy ( http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6136835 ). Excellent gifts for knitters! The following colors are available:

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Royal Purple

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RaspberryPeach Cobbler a la Mode

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Alberta Sunset
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RaspberryPeach Cobbler

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True Blues

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Bark & Earth

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(The colors are taken with flash, against a snow-white background, and there are subtleties of shade that show up in varying, gentler lights. Those same lights result in muddy photos though.)

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And the ball I knit up didn't get it's colour named, because I've been thinking of it as ____'s scarf - it's going to be a Xmas gift, now that it's had a brief & glorious stint as a model. Just think of all the stories it can tell the mittens!

I was very brave.

Yes indeed, I was incredibly brave the other day. No, it had nothing to do with Amoryn's immunization shots.... It was all about mittens. MITTENS!!!!
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Elizabeth Zimmerman's mitered mittens, to be exact. I got some cool yarn a the knitting retreat, & decided to make a pair of mittens in the worsted & a scarf out of the sport weight. (Non knitters: mittens, heavy; scarf, light.) (Worsted is good.)
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And her pattern calls for basically knitting a tube, then cutting a hole & putting the thumb in after the fact. Sounds simple, right?
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EXCEPT THAT YOU CUT A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE OF PERFECTLY GOOD KNITTING!
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I thought, I can do this, cast on, & knit two mittens at the same time*. I cast off, bound in the raw end, and placed the markers, picked up the scissors, and started hyperventilating. I had to do some deep beathing & have a collaborative phone call with mom. I reasoned that I would know how to mend a hole in a mitten, so cutting a hole shouldn't be too bad, because I know how to fix it.
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EXCEPT THAT IT'S CUTTING A HOLE.
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IN A PERFECTLY GOOD PIECE OF KNITTING THAT I JUST WOVE ALL THE ENDS INTO.
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There was a lot of deep breathing, it's true. I don't think the man understood why I was freaking so hard. It's just so... Unnatural.

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Anyways, I'll get to the graphic photos - caution- this might offend some readers of a sensitive nature.

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The innocent mittens, as yet unaware of what's in store for them. The two stitch markers should have been a clear tip-off that something was up.

Mittens: Doo-de doo-de doo. Nothing happening here.

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Mitten: Whatcha doing? ..what? Hey! AHHH!

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It's just not natural.

Mitten: Oooooohwoh ow ow ow.

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Although that is a groovy thumb-hole.

Mitten: You mock my pain.
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And the picking up & knitting not too bad at all...

Mitten: I agree. I still think you're mocking me, but you're knittting at the same time, so okay.
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Ta-dah! The finished mittens of happiness. It was a journey that had its share of trauma, but in the end, I've learned something, grown as a person, and I have new mittens.

Mittens: Wheeeeeeeeee!

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*-Using two circulars, I knit two mittens at the same time. Perfect way to get around "Second Sock Syndrome". (Non-knitters - just let this go.)

By Jove, I'm a Designer!

I mean, I've always known it, but now Ravelry, people on Ravelry, and you know it too!

http://www.ravelry.com/purchase/kourtney-robinson-designs/11155">buy now

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I'm so pleased with myself. You can purchase the above pattern, Spiral Lights Hat, through Ravelry, and maybe one day, if I'm really smart, through Etsy & my website.

If you don't know what Ravelry is that's okay; you're not one of the knitters. I'll work on your conversion later.