Monday, September 04, 2006

Back to the Fray!

And by "Fray", I mean "SHRED".

So the bad cat, Buzz? He's still being bad. Although until this afternoon, we thought he'd been good. He's redirected his show of vengeance to my GOOD! LEATHER! OFFICE! CHAIR! That I got for Xmas last year from Pat! Agh!
I didn't catch him in the act, but it was Buzz.* Last week, I saw him doing something similar to a fabric chair down here. I yelled at him, then put the chair into another non-cat room. Problem solved, I thought. It never occurred to me to fret over the leather chair. The only reason Buzz is still attached to his hide is the simple fact that there's not enough fur on his body to recover my chair.
And, in an act of solidarity, the Kitten has mauled the paper towel. He'd done it before we got home yesterday, he did in the night, & Pat & I caught him & Pat spanked him this morning, at 5 am, before Pat flew to Arm-Pittsburgh. Then the Kitten did it again this afternoon. I'm developing a new cat-training methodology, where I beat the cat with the offending item**. Pat thought paper towel wouldn't be firm enough, that I should at least use newspaper or something, but really, you smack him long enough, it gets through that thick Manx skull. Because nothing else does. Don't even bother sugesting traditional cat punishment like water guns. He laughs in the face of water guns. Actually, no, Kitten kind of squinches his face up & gives his best "Really, do you mind, I'm eating this plant here" look.
I'm starting to get so excited about Fishy - not only is he big enough now that we can hear his little heartbeat (haven't yet - this week at the midwives, I hope), but he will be born without fangs or claws***. And it'll take him a little while to grow into his orneryness.
*-Hey, treat me like an evil dictator long enough, I'm going to act like one.
**- I'm going to have to stop talking about my cats before the SPCA gets me. Gosh, & in the general animal cruelty confession arena, I was tossing stones at the neighbours stupid cat today too. But Leo "He-Never-Leaves-Our-Yard" was on the deck! Hissing at my cats through the screens! And he wouldn't run when I chased him, so I threw little rocks at him. Underhand. And it's not like I hit him often, you all know my athletic prowess. Kyle, you'd be so proud.
***-At least, I haven't heard any fang/claw horror stories about newborns. And if you do know of any, DON'T TELL ME! I've got enough to think about mulling the potential size of Fishy's head!

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