Oh, the mall, the mall…

I just watched a 20 minute thingy called “The Story of Stuff” (watch it here http://www.storyofstuff.com/ ). It was very interesting, and all mostly things I knew, but things that I don’t usually think about in that particular order, or even particularly often. You should maybe watch it if you have been mulling your consumption of things, or you feel consumed by your things, or if you want to reinforce your re-using & recycling. If the mall is your happy place, maybe not so much.
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I try not to consume too needlessly… I believe that I’m not shopping to fill some greater void in my life… I think my shopping excesses are mostly driven by my inner crow (ooo… that’s SHINY… we likes it…we wants it…). The man & I were just having the post Xmas discussion about how much stuff we seem to keep buying, & do we really need it? Really really? In some cases (bigger clothes for Amoryn), yes we do. In some cases (new ipods or tv’s), no we don’t. Some cases are arguable – for example: new pants for me. I have one pair of work pants that fit me & that I feel good in. At what point do I balance my desire to have pants that fit me & make me feel good against my budget, my actual need for work pants, and my wariness of consuming for the sake of consumption?
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This is why I often buy things, take them home, & then return them. It’s hard to take all of those points into consideration when you’ve been looking for some damn pants that don’t give you muffin top & the baby is getting fussy & the mall music is too loud & can I get some decent service here? It’s not that I’m having underlying ego issues about whether I deserve new things. It’s not guilt over spending. It’s not consumption-bulimia. It’s plain old being overwhelmed by stimuli, and using the system (I can buy this & return it up to 30 days later, no problem?) to avoid the system (naaaaaaasty dressing room mirrors). As well, I can’t always shop with my girls, for their informed opinion on important things such as: how does my ass really look in these?
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Which brings me to jeans… Yes, I am going to return those jeans. The waist is too high. I was rethinking what I really want from a new pair of jeans (dark wash, no pre-fading, wide legged, not super high waisted), trying to decide if I was looking for too much from a single item. Am I investing some kind of secret emotional agenda on these pants? Am I attaching too many things to these? Is there really some insecurity I want these pants to cover up? (The mall, it really kicked my butt on the jean hunt, it did.).
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No, I want dark pants so that I can wear them to the office. I want wide legs because I like the silhouette and they’re comfortable. Ditto the waist. I want jeans, not dress pants, for the comfort, durability, & washablilty. I think I’m just feeling beleaguered because I’m NOT going to spend more than $120 MAX on jeans and what I want is not what anybody else anywhere seems to be making or buying. (I walked into one jean store – and I swear to god – there was the “$125 jean SALE” rack. As in, look, amazing, only $125!!! As opposed to $250+!) I’m even willing to flex on one point – I could like with a little fading, or I could live with a different cut, but there was nothing! Nothing!
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So you know what this means. This means… I start eyeing up my sewing machines. Genghis & Lil, how are you two feeling? Should I take you in for your yearly tune-up, & exchange my not-right jeans for some dark-wash denim material? Or make cords out of material that I already have? Hmmm?
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It certainly would tie nicely into the documentary about the Stuff, at any rate.
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PS: I love the g-diapers, but I think I need to try the medium size - Miss Amoryn is right between sizes, so I opted larger, because that works better for disposables, but not so much for these, apparently. The man figures we should just wait & keep using disposables, but I'm keen! I'm focused! I'm eager! I know I'm still consuming, but it's in the name of less consumption.... gosh, this is all so confusing. I'm going to go & knit something to clear my mind.