I Feel Better, A Bit

I do, I feel a bit better. Thanks for the comments, and the phone calls, and the love. I will collect on promises of hugs and support as needed.

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I keep this blog partially as a diary - so that I remember the day-to-day joys. Years ago, I used to keep a paper diary, and one day I reread it. It turned out that I wrote far more about what frustrated and angered me. That was good, in that it gave me a safe place to vent. It was not so great, because when I went back & read it later, there was nothing but negativity. ("It was a good day" vs. two pages about why _____ was _____ with the _____and then I felt _____.... not really much of a contest.) So I've purposefully tried to keep this blog more positive. Not necessarily Pollyanna, but at least to write a lot about the things that are good and make me happy.

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That being said, I've learned from previous tangles with depression that not talking about things is not good. It's even worse to just pretend that everything is hunky-dory fabulous. Hence the previous post. (It is a fine line to walk though - because you tend to find what you're looking for; if you do nothing but rant about the negatives in your life, what do you see? More negatives.*)

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It's been a good weekend - J____ & A____ & A__ were visiting, and it's been so nice. A__ is about 17 months old, and it's been really entertaining watching her stack blocks, hop away from Amoryn (who is all about "chasing" as a method of playing together), and just be her charming self. A__'s parents are equally charming, and it did me a lot of good chatting with A_____ about parenthood and the occasional irritations of being married to a really great guy that you love to bits. (The man & J___ are brothers.)

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It was also Eleni's baby shower on Saturday. It was grand, and M____ & C____ really knocked themselves out. I made a conscious decision to enjoy the party & not worry about taking a ton of photos, so there are only a couple pics. And right now, I'm disinclined to find the camera & the cable. But it was truly lovely, and it made me feel really good to see such a welcome for my Eleni, and to know that we're so loved. (It's love when people will festoon your house and make cupcakes, pie & quiche.)

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The feeding front is interesting - two steps forward, two steps back. I believe we're through the dreaded six-week growth spurt, and cheese might be okay. I did screw up & eat some things with milk in it on Saturday, so we're re-zeroing the dairy meter. I'm getting better about figuring out what to eat.

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I'm off to bed now - the menfolk are still out drowning their sorrows. (A___ & I still can't figure out why that kick was worth three points - we both thought it was two. Ah well. Perhaps it was a bad idea for the kids & I to wear Rider gear today - there was a wide variety of body fluids on them, requiring several changes. Maybe that was a jinx. If so, moops.)

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*No, I'm not a fan of the Secret. There are some things that affirmations won't bring. But a realistically positive outlook is healthy.