I'm Not Sure What's Wrong...

Well, actually, I sort of am. I'm not getting enough knitting.

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If it were simply because of the fact that life is hectic & I'm busy chasing the kids, then that would be one thing. That is the case some days, and I'm totally okay with that. (Actually, I only chase Am. El is still pretty immobile - although surprisingly mobile & strong for her age.)

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What is really bothering me is that I'm not knitting because of my hands. After we went to Anaheim, my hands and feet were both really swollen from the heat. My feet recovered, but my hands stayed puffy. With the puffiness, came tingling. It was miserable. Needles & pins, numbness, yadda yadda. My doctor & midwives reassured me* that it's all because of the retained water during pregnancy, and it'll clear up. It was making me crazy though - knitting is my portable sanity, and I couldn't knit. Well, I could knit a little bit - but it felt like I was wearing mittens, my hands were so tingly/numb.

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It's been almost a month since I had Eleni, and while the water retention & arms going to sleep has mostly resolved itself, I still feel like I'm wearing imaginary mittens. True, they're more of a lightweight shrinkie mitt now, not a bulky-weight mitten, but still. Hard to knit anything interesting. (Also hard to deal with those cursed wee little snaps that plague baby clothing!)

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I may also be feeling a little animosity towards Shawl That Endless Garter Stitch - I've been working on it almost exclusively because a) I want to have it done to use it for nursing b) it's pretty much idiot-proof at this stage c) I can pick it up & drop it easily & d) it's simple enough that my 'invisible mitts' are workable. I'm tired of knitting it. I've been tired for quite a while, really; I knit through "the wall" a looong time ago, and now, I'm just ready to be done with it. I know that the ruffle really needs at least 4-6 more rows, minimum, and at the current rate of knitting, that's at least a week. I'm afraid if I put the shawl into the 'Bad Knitting Box' I won't return to it until I have grandchildren. And I've put enough time into it that I really do want to finish it. But the idea of another week with it is enough to turn my stomach. Thus, a dilemma: a) cast off, and have a finished project that I may always look at and think "I should've.."? b) keep knitting, and if my sanity snaps & I turn the shawl into a casserole for supper, hope that by the time I'm out of the loony bin, they've developed some way to separate merino from tuna? c) put it in the bad knitting box, with the intention of returning to it while I'm still nursing.

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It's a tough call. My decision making abilities are pretty impaired by my sleep deprivation**. If it weren't for the imaginary mittens, I'd probably park the project for while, but I can't really start anything more interesting or fun, because I'm too fumblefingered.

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Meh. What a whiny post. I'd delete this all, but maybe someone in the Intarweb will have a useful suggestion. I think I'm going to go & knit on my only other project - Am's stripey sweater, which is a worsted weight top-down raglan, so simple enough. It's in three colors, so it's not good drop'n'run material, but Am's in bed, so I shouldn't have to bolt for anything.

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Please leave a comment if you have any brilliant solutions or suggestions...

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*They also didn't appreciate the gravity of me Not Being Able To Knit.

**Normal, nursing a month-old baby style sleep deprivation.