Monday, February 04, 2008

Ha. Arg. Gotta go.

This isn't nearly as funny - or illustrated - as Whoopee's blog about phone copmpanies - - she even features antique nudity. Really.

At any rate. I just got off of the phone with two different employees of HBC. The first one I called to cancel the Mastercard that they were automatically upgrading my Bay card to. I was already irritated, I admit; I'd spent an hour + sorting & filing reciepts into piles so that I can do the bookkeeping for them later. And to find a letter, letting me know that I get a Mastercard! Without any effort! Oh boy! Be sure to spend lots!, well. It increased my irritation. I called the number to say "No, does not want", and went through their automated system. The automated system subjected me to a lovely 2 minute spiel about all of the wonders of the Mastercard, then said "if you don't want, press 2". I did, then pressed 8 to speak to someone further. It simply seemed too easy to cancel it that way; there was no verification, no nothing. Also, I wanted to know who I had to call to remove my name & phone number & address from the apparently inexhaustible array of amazing offers, special deals, incredible events, & free* things. The woman I spoke to spent another 2 minutes trying to make sure that I really understood how special I was to the HBC, that I should feel honored that they trusted me enough to recieve such a special offer with such amazing perks, and so forth. Eventually my mantra of "Does not want... remove from list... does not want... remove from list..." sank into her consciousness. Then I asked about the cancellation - well, she can send out a letter to me, but first, let her confirm that address. "Well, I will give you the cancellation number provided to me, then you can pull up my address." "All right!" she says. "Then can I have you address to confirm?" "No. It's the same address as is on this letter, that arrived in the mail yesterday. I haven't moved." "But I need to confirm," she says. I am not giving my address out to anyone; I'm quite certain that even though they have it already, there is a secret database that they store recalcitrant, master-card-free addresses in, then set them up to be automatically dialed by a fax maxchine at 2 am & recieve mailers about Enhancing! Your! Male! Parts! "Why don't you read me the address you have, & I can let you know it's the same", I say, adopting her cloyingly sweet wheedle. "I cannot do that." she replied, finally dropping the sucrose. "Well then, I'm not giving you my address, you can't confirm, so mail the letter confirming canellation or not; but give me the number to remove myself from all of the free* offers etc. She did, grudgingly, I chipperly apologized for being a bear, & wished her a verry nice day & hung up before she could get out one last time, how much I really mean to the Bay. It was like a verrry weird breakup with a passive aggressive needy boyfriend, using a script.
My loins fully girded, I steeled myself for another ten minute quest into the automaton world of HBC. I was surprised & completely disarmed to find that the phone was answered on the third ring by a man, named Doral, who had me un-subscribed & feeling quite happy in three minutes flat.
Other than bearding various telemarketing lions in their dens, I've been pretty busy. I've got all sorts of knitting things just completed & on the go; pictures & a post to follow at some point (I know, you can't bear the anticipation...), I've been working more for the office, I've been taking the girl to swim lessons, I've tried to get to the gym for myself too, and well. I've been busy. It's not you, it's me. I did manage to update FLlckr yesterday - I resolve to try & get it done weekly, if nothing else, because it takes faaaaaaaar to long to do it monthly. Plus also, it leaves the grandparents & other baby fans in the lurch.
Speaking of the babe, she just started singing, so I'd best go & get her, stuff some lunch in both of us, then head off to my old office, where I am picking up some work to do from home. Yes. I now have three jobs - Amoryn, the engineering office, & the accounting office. (Not counting work that doesn't pay in baby snuggles or cash - which leaves out keeping track of our company AND housework as jobs.) Stay tuned to see how the balancing act all works out... assuming of course, that I have time to post!

*Free! for the first month, then for a low, low monthly fee of $14.95....

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