Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Four Fifths of Creepy

I'm trying to de-clutter the house some, in order to paint & just have a tidier life in general.
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Today, I opened the bottom drawer of my cedar chest, and I found five teeth in two different containers.
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Here's the thing: only one of them is mine. (A wisdom tooth that I had extracted. I think I said I wanted to keep it when they asked - but I was all doped up, so I'm not culpable for that choice.)
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Yes, that means that four of them are not mine. They are molars. Cavity-eaten molars.
Where did I get four molars from? And who was taking such terrible care of their teeth? They're in a little medical-style container, and there's nothing written on them.
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I have the niggling sensation that they might be Z____'s... but if so, why do I have them? Why doesn't she? Either way, I hope that she flosses regularily.
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If they're not, um. Am I an insomniac nutjob who runs around pulling cavity-ridden teeth? Am I a schizophrenic who rootles through medical waste looking for teeth?
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Either way, I'm afraid that I'm one step close to being on "Hoarders: Collecting Other People's Teeth".
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And how do you dispose of teeth? Throw them out? Bury them in the backyard? Sneak them into the "Sharps" container at the next doctor's visit? The tooth fairy ain't coming for these bad boys, I bet.
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I'm feeling a little self conscious about the anti-depressants, but this is crazy enough to have me a little worried. Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
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PS: My CSI-watching self is all "get the DNA of the teeth analyzed, then crosschecked against myself, to see if they are Z's, because we're related". Sadly, I have no access to that kind of lab equipment - or knowledge - and I don't think they're part of an active homicide investigation, so nobody is going to help me with that.
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PPS: CREEEEEPY. I'm going to go & keep cleaning. I'll let you know if I find anything else that odd - teeth, treasure maps, S______'s cell charger. Creepy.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

i have to admit i find odd stuff when i clean but that is the strangest.
jesss

Coreen said...

It's weird that I have a sneaky suspicion that you have told me about these teeth before and I should be able to tell you the answer, but it's filed away in a closet at the back of my brain. I'll let you know if the backburner brews anything up.
~c