Bad Mother Thought Of The Day, Or The Post I Maybe Shouldn't

"I am so sick of her."

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Now really, I know that that's totally inappropriate to say or think. And it's more like, I'm so sick of all the screaming & melodrama & histrionics that she throws at me. When I've surfed the angry high tide of 'NoooOOOOO!!!" more than a dozen times in the first three hours of the day, I just get tired and honestly, I can only go into my personal well of quiet and calm so many times before that sucker runs dry. Then I'm left with no personal reserve, and nothing to offer my other child, my husband, or anyone else in the world.

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I've tried being calm. I've tried being rational. I've tried hugging, and spending a lot more quality time - just one on one - with her. I've tried everything I can think of, and most of what I've read. And honestly, I'm just tired of it. I understand that she's small, and still learning how to control her emotions, and she can't always articulate whats going on in her head. I'm trying to teach her words to use, and methods to calm down, and honestly, I'm at the point where I think I should maybe just teach her how to bottle all of her feelings inside and smile all the time, because this? This is wearing me out.

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I also can't help but wonder - at what point am I creating a monster? I read the Harlot's post the other day, & I totally agree that babies don't cry for attention, to be controlling. They're not logical enough. But maybe three year olds do? And really, is asking someone to put on their socks such a terrible thing?

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The sock thing, incidentally, I'm having a hard time with. I clearly recall being screamed at to "LET ME DO IT MY SELF", so the sudden reversion to "HEEEELLLLP MEEE I CAAAAAN'T DOOOO IT!" is jarring. And something that I have not allowed time for, in the somewhat epic quest to Get Out The Door.

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And really, should I be making her do it herself? Should I help with the socks? Is it backsliding, and potentially very bad to help her put on her socks, or is it only bad if she's screaming about it? I can't think with all the screaming in here!

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Maybe we need to play outside more. But to go outside, we need socks! Agh! Vicious circle strikes again!

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I have nothing else to say, and honestly, not much left to offer today. And it's not even noon. I'm going to inhale deeply, try to get us outside, and try not to lose my sh*t in the process of trying to teach my children how to keep a grip on theirs*. Wish me luck.

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(Helpful hints are welcome in the comments. I'm in the process of reading "How To Raise Your Spirited Child". And my sacrum locked up on Thursday, so once that's recovered, I'll have more to offer.)

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*I feel compelled to note that that's figurative sh*t, by the way.