Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Ah, yes. The comfort zone.

We all have our comfort zones. Most of them involve routines, familiarity, and comfortable old sweatpants of either a literal or metaphorical nature. I firmly believe that you grow as a person & develop new dimensions & textures in your personality by forcing yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone, even if they're just little things. So I force myself to do new things pretty regularily, even if it's just teeny tiny things. (Provisional cast-ons - cool! Martinis - retch!)
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Amoryn was a huge, major new thing that was completely outside of any of my known zones, comfortable or otherwise. At least she was when she first arrived. We've been hanging around together now for almost seven months, & I've got to say, I think we've reached a comfortable place. She's got a daily routine (which I understand), she eats things (a lot of things), she plays, we laugh. It's great. It's really fantastic.
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So of course, because I'm feeling so very comfortable & content & complete, I want to avoid stagnating.
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I decided it was time to go back to work.
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A little bit at first - two or three days a week, from home. Depending on child care - I'd been looking for a pseudo-gramma who would babysit Amoryn in our house while I worked from the basement. I've found a wonderful auntie, who plainly adores Amoryn, and that's great. We tried a day home a couple of times, and that was... rocky. Basically, the dayhome lady nicely told me that Am is too much work, too small, & really, maybe I shouldn't go back to work yet. Am is too young for day cares, too.
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Then I met with my bosses, & recieved a lukewarm reception of my grand plan of working from home. This was discouraging.
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I slumped at home, baking cookies, mulling whether I wanted to get into a grand battle over working from home, or just say "screw you, hippie, my way or no way".
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Luckily, I was saved from this dilemma by my teammates asking me to do some work from home on an ongoing basis, sort of catch-as-catch-can.
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So yesterday, I did some work from home! Amoryn did not suffer, or even notice. The turkey noodle soup did suffer, in that I didn't make noodles. I don't think the soup minded, but the man was distressed over it. The pumpkin carving was fun. The day, as a whole, was good.
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Although different, strange, new & out of my comfort zone. Time will tell how the balancing act is progressing. I suspect it will be similar to Amoryn sitting up - wobble, wobble, correct, overbalance, tip, try again. As long as I tip into the lap of my husband & family & friends & home, & not onto my bosses, I think things should be groovy.
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PS: Also groovy - Amoryn's Halloween costume - Sir Winston Churchill. Sitting unasissted, even, with couch cushions for back-up. I think the likeness is striking.


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