The Horror, The Horror

The PVR recorded this for me last night:

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Black Sheep

Nathan Meister, Danielle Mason, (2006), **. A young man (Nathan Meister) suffering from ovinophobia (fear of sheep) returns to the family farm in New Zealand just in time to help battle mutant killer critters attacking everything & everybody in sight. A wild & wooly horror comedy. (Comedy, 95 mins.)

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I swear I didn't make any of that up. Two stars... I might just have to watch it. Although I personally think a movie about moths would be far more frightening.

Merry Stashmas!

At Christmas, while it's easy to become enchanted with all the new, shiny, gew-gaws, it's important not to overlook the blessings we already have. In that spirit, may I present....

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Stashmas '09!

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Here are some of my favorite items in my stash... some are old, some are new. Some have plans & plots assigned to them; a couple I just like to pet.

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(New, a b-day gift, maybe a small shawl?)

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("Honey Fig" fiber from Sweet Georgia - Make 1. I'm so hung up on the color.)

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(Mini-maiden. I lurves it. It lurves me.)
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(If I were a sock-knitter, deedle-deedle-deedle-dum!)
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(Mohair/linen. Fascinating blend!)
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(Ooooooooooo. Anybody know any poppy inspired lace patterns?)
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(Lace-weight merino that I died.)
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(I had a plan for this... which I have amended slightly. It's too bulky, so...)
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(I found this! Sock weight.)
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(Perhaps a snuggly shawl that's not all garter?)

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And most of all, just like Am says: "Daddy and mommy & sister & Amoryn: my FAMILY!"

Festive Random Smattering

(I was going to call this post "Random Smattering of Fruitcake", but if you live with children, I suspect that you too will resonate to the potential scenarios that could be described by that phrase.)

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Dear Daycare Workers:
I love that you have a tub labelled "MR. POTATOES HEAD". I'm not sure if it's the fact that you have segregated the Potato Head parts from the other plastic creatures, or that someone so painstakingly (& correctly) pluralized "potato".

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Dear Market Mall Parking Lot:
You hate me, and I hate you, & I'd storm out in a huff, but I AM TRAPPED TRAPPED TRAPPED....

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Dear Husband, Love of My Life:

You know I love you. I also know that you're fond of having a sane wife, so I didn't pick up your last Xmas gift. I drove away from the mall parking lot after 20 minutes. You're a big guy, I know you'll like it as a New Year's gift too.

Love, K.

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Dear Eleni:

I love you so much, sweet thing. Today, I am especially smitten with the fact that you are sleeping better & better at night.

Love, Mom

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Dear Amoryn:

You are such a bright girl! And such a caring little soul. I love that you came downstairs this morning, went to say hello to your sister in the playpen, and when she wasn't there, you marched me back to the stairs & told me to "Go get Lenni".

Love, Mom.

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Dear Safeway Guy Who Did The Pricecheck On My Fresh Rosemary:

You were supposed to do a pricecheck, sir. You weren't supposed to bring back another bunch of herbs that have a bar code on them. I didn't need two bunches of thyme*. I need one bunch of thyme & one bunch of rosemary. (Sigh.) Now I have to go out shopping again...

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Dear Addie's (in Cochrane):

You rock. Not only did you have a wonderful selection of batiks, you had Koigu on sale 30% off. And you have some of the best staff ever - you watched El in her carseat while I chased Am around, and you didn't cast any glances our way until we'd left the store..

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Dear Everyone At the Yarn Store -

I've said it before, & I'll say it again. I love you all, and it means so much to me that you're there. If I don't see you again before Xmas, I hope that you have the best, mellowest, most joyful holiday.

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Amoryn, do we need to yarn & fabric stores more often? I don't want you to lose the etiquette. I'd be more concerned, but when I opened up my birthday gift from Mom and petted the yarn, you asked to touch it too.

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Dear Mom - thanks for trying to soothe El. I'll be right there.

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*If you could get me more time, however, that would be nine kinds of awesome.

Fresh Snowfall

Fresh snow is so pretty... and for once, a picture that actually looks a little bit how the world looked last night.

These are the trees along the side of our house. I can see them from where I sit to nurse El &/or snuggle Am on the couch.

(Pic courtesy of the man & his groovy camera that has an aperture you can set. Who knew?)

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Blue Christmas

Yes, I finally accepted that I'm a little depressed, a la post-partum, these days. (PPD for short.) It's not just a run of a couple bad days. A couple weeks ago, I realized that I was entirely too wobbly & close to tears. I figured that we all could use a fun day, so Amoryn got to watch all the movies she wanted (Nemo! Wall-E! Tinkerbell! Elmo!), Eleni got as much milk as she could drink (okay, so that's SOP*), and other than providing food & libation for the minors, I knitted & napped.

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It was okay. Not too much different than if I'd spent all day doing laundry. (That statement should be accompanied by huge alarm bells! Klaxons! Sirens! Machines saying "moop moop moop" in an urgent way!) I reviewed the depression questionnaire in my head, and sure enough. Not just a couple blue days.

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I've been depressed a couple times before, and I've found the sooner you start, the easier it is to shake. I didn't have any troubles with post-partum when I had Amoryn, but it was also coming into summer, not winter, so there was no SAD icing for my PPD cupcake of gloom.

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I talked to the man about it. Then, a day later, I had a bit of a meltdown and ranted & raved & hicupped & snotted all over the place. (I don't cry so gracefully.) I'm not sure if he really understands how I'm feeling, but he's sure being supportive & open to talking about whatever I need to. (An engineer? Talking about feelings? Wow, man.) I've also talked to different friends. And now that I've quite denying the depression, it's getting easier to fight.

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I also made an appointment, talked to my doctor, and have a couple things that I'm trying before I make a break for prescription meds. There are lots of Rx options that are safe for nursing mothers, but I'd rather not, if I can. I'm using my light book, taking vitamin D supplements, and trying to get lots of sleep & physical activity too. I'm also not succumbing to that little voice that suggests that I'm useless, no matter what I get done, there will always be more to do, and I'll probably just screw that up too, so I may as well quit trying. (That snide little voice is part of my depression.)
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I think it's helping; it's hard to say for certain so soon. There's this Christmas thing I remembered - you may have heard of it?** So I've taken that into hand, and at this moment, have two gifts left to wrap. I also have to hunt down some batiks for El's stocking.

I used up everything in my stash for Am's. (L-R: mine, the man's, the girl's. I'm hoping to find acid green & purple for the smallest.)

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(Cards? Prezzies? Parcels mailed? Tree? Check.)

(The prezzies are all stashed elsewhere. The tree alone is almost too much excitement. Blue lights are coincidental.)

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I'm almost finished a little gifty for someone special - wanna peek?

(A violation of my no deadline-gifty policy. But so worth it!)

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It was also Eleni's first vaccination yesterday - yes, we get the kids vaccinated. The health nurse was not so helpful in some ways; I filled out the little worksheet, and she confirmed that indeed, I seem to be suffering from PPD. Her attempts at comfort were a little rough. On the other hand, she was a great source of information about support available through the health region, and she was trying really hard.

(El, all grown up & sophistimicated in pants AND shoes...)

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I think the biggest help - the single thing that's the most help fighting that nasty snide little voice in my head - is the fact that I have such a great support system. I honestly don't know what I'd do without all the people that I love, that love me back.

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And I don't know what else to say, other than - any suggestions on what I should make for supper?

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*SOP - Standard Operating Procedure

**Literally. I was all "HOLY CRAP THERE ARE ONLY HOW MANY DAYS UNTIL XMAS? DOOM!!!!!"

Oh, Earworms.

I watched "The Way We Were" last night. I'd never seen it before, and probably would have never bothered, except for the reference in Sex & the City. So I was a little curious, and there was nothing else on.

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It wasn't bad, EXCEPT FOR THAT AWFUL SONG. It's probably not even that bad, but Barbra has been crooning through my head non-stop since then. Even that wouldn't be so bad, except that I have several extra hours of consciousness on most people, because El was up for two hours during last night's feed, instead of her customary 45 minutes.

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And of course, the odd instant that there was no Barbra, the earworm fates decided I hadn't been punished enough & sent "Bop" by Dan Seals. I'm not sure what I've done to merit such treatment, but I'm hoping that I won't have to resort to the big guns to get rid of them.

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Yes, I'm talking about the soundtrack for Moulin Rouge, if not the movie itself. There's something about the dizzy collision of can-can & ruffles & seventies tunes that seems to short almost any earworm out.

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In other news, we went to Edmonton for the weekend, for some visiting & the man's Xmas party. It was good; other than a fire alarm at the hotel, and the minus nine million weather. I've also cast on and almost completed my first mobius; I'm completely fascinated. I've found my 3mm Addi, and I'm almost ready to begin phase 2. Of course, there's this whole Christmas thing I need to start thinking about... so I'm off to try & get some scheming done!

What We've Been Up To

First, this was so much fun.

It's a top-secret Xmas project. (It's SPARKLY.)

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My lap - max occupancy, one toddler, one baby, one cat, one board book.

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Auntie S____ was obliging enough to help "Amrin Butterfly" fly around the living room - "waaay up in the sky, bzzz bzzz bzzz". Bless S____'s heart, and her kneecaps too. (Am isn't holding the laundry basket - it's an illusion.)
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So far, this is the only photo I managed to get of Am in her new plaid dress. It's not too illustrative of the details, but does convey the fever pitch of the Xmas concert.

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Eleni has been practicing her super powers. I'd been KO'd be her shortly before, and woke up enough to realize that I needed supper. The man took over on snooze supervision.

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And that's where I'm headed - to snooze. Nighty-nooties!

Progress Report

First, the little dress & the plaid issues. I've done quite well, see?

The plaids line up. Unless you look, you don't even really notice it; but there's like a subliminal vibe when they're off. To demonstrate, here's the lining, where I'd didn't bother:

See? (Yes, I just posted two plaid shoulder seam photos. It's my blog & I'll do as I please.)

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On the Taiyo front, I'm still cautiously optimistic - and I lurve this photo.
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I got glitter paint, and this morning let Am have a crack at it. It went well, she had fun, and I'm impressed with her skills.
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Eleni still hasn't developed any real skills, other than eat/sleep/adorable, but she's got those down pat.

Eleni, practicing her "adorable", all geared up to go for a walk. Rest assured, the walk was NOT today.
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I'm back to Genghis (the serger) & the little plaid dress!

Is It Really Thursday?

Huh. I've tried typing several different things - updates about sewing projects, knitting schemes, baby adorableness, and toddler fun. But my brain is not cooperating. Clearly, this morning's errand run of the library, the fabric store, & the shoe store eroded the synapses to my language center.

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Or something. So, this is where I usually default to pics, but the camera cord is downstairs. So we have no recent photos. Instead, let's flash back to summertime.

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The yard in late summer is a little like an enchanted kingdom - especially to someone who is only 3 1/2 feet tall.

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I didn't get many belly pictures, but one naptime I headed down with the camera sent to autotimer.

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This is some of the yarn I got in Anaheim...

(Habu merino & merino/stainless steel. I've been fascinated forever, and may never knit it, but man! It's sure cool.)

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This is mohair - and it leapt into my arms as I was on my way out. I can't convey how incredible it feels, but the picture does illustrate that it's the EXACT color of california poppies. (Appropriate as a souvenir from LA, no?) I also got a skein of cashmere in a lovely dark brown, and a skein of blue stuff that I've posted about before.

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This is the qiviuk blend I got in Whitehorse. It's niiiiiiice.

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(When they actually beome FO's, I'll tell you more about the yarn - like who made it, exact content, etc. For now, they're more like pets.)

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On other yarn fronts, I think I finally had an inspiration about some Noro Taiyo that has been resisting me! It's been a scarf & two different sweaters, but I keep frogging it. Time will tell if I've really cracked it or not - I'm not saying anything else.
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All right, off for more projects!

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PS: I read the label, and I can have Oreo cookies. So I am. Nom nom nom.

"GREY CUP LOSS STRIKES MAN STUPID"

(Let me preface by saying this made me laugh FAR more than it made me grind my teeth. I'm sharing the tale so that you, too, can laugh.)
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So, the man & one of his cronies had rented a suite at Flames Central to watch the game. There were a number of work associates & family members, and the uniting theme was "GO RIDERS!".

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I figured it was going to get very drunk outside for them all, but as the man had arranged rides for he & his brother to get there & back, I honestly didn't care. I went to tuck myself & Eleni into bed (Am, A_____, & A__ all had done the same, at various earlier times), and was just watching her little eyes flutter shut when the phone rang.

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It was J____, and he was a mess. I gathered that they were on the train, and they needed a ride. Now, after grinding my teeth, I agreed to pick them up. I then called the man back, and interrogated him as to what station they were at. We established it was Lion's Park, because they hadn't gone underground yet. Groovy. I sneak the monitor downstairs to A_____ (who I wanted to let sleep, because she has a long day of driving today), and I take the (since disturbed) baby with me. Halfway to the train, I call to see where they are - if I should circle the wagons, as El doesn't approve of parked cars at all.

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"We're downtown..."
"WHAT? You said you were on the train!"

"We were, but it all got messed up."

"*sigh*... I'm not going to come downtown & get you."

"No! No, we're stupid. Cut us loose, you go home. We'll take the train and then find a cab. Sorry babe, we're stupid. Love you, sorry. It's been terrible."

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I went home, put my pj's back on, and settled Eleni, again.

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This time, my cel rang, so at least it didn't jar El out of that delicate drifting off state.

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"We're at Dalhousie, come and get us."

"No, sweetie, I can't. I looked up the bus schedules tough, and if you get the 199 it will bring you home."

"Oh, no we can't do that*"

"No, really, it's super easy, the next one is only a little ways away, I checked. Go there."

"Okay, we'll figure it out..."

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I put Eleni to bed. That protective Saskatchewan girl instinct kicks in (that especially worries about drunks in freezing weather), and I call them back.

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"Where are you?"

"Oh, it's crazy. No one will take us home - we keep asking people. But there's no cabs."

"Okay, I will come and get you. Where are you?"
"The carwash."

"Okay - STAY RIGHT THERE. I am coming RIGHT NOW to get you, okay?"

"Oh, thanks sweetie."

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I'm a block from the carwash, and I call again.

"Where are you?"
"We're in a cab, just coming up the hill."
"WHAT? I'M A BLOCK AWAY FROM THE CARWASH!"

"Oh, no, but it was cold. The cab is taking us home."

*teeth grinding* "Fine. I'll see you at home, shortly.

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Idiots. I love them both - but dummies.

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*They couldn't. I think they were too drunk to read.

I Feel Better, A Bit

I do, I feel a bit better. Thanks for the comments, and the phone calls, and the love. I will collect on promises of hugs and support as needed.

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I keep this blog partially as a diary - so that I remember the day-to-day joys. Years ago, I used to keep a paper diary, and one day I reread it. It turned out that I wrote far more about what frustrated and angered me. That was good, in that it gave me a safe place to vent. It was not so great, because when I went back & read it later, there was nothing but negativity. ("It was a good day" vs. two pages about why _____ was _____ with the _____and then I felt _____.... not really much of a contest.) So I've purposefully tried to keep this blog more positive. Not necessarily Pollyanna, but at least to write a lot about the things that are good and make me happy.

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That being said, I've learned from previous tangles with depression that not talking about things is not good. It's even worse to just pretend that everything is hunky-dory fabulous. Hence the previous post. (It is a fine line to walk though - because you tend to find what you're looking for; if you do nothing but rant about the negatives in your life, what do you see? More negatives.*)

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It's been a good weekend - J____ & A____ & A__ were visiting, and it's been so nice. A__ is about 17 months old, and it's been really entertaining watching her stack blocks, hop away from Amoryn (who is all about "chasing" as a method of playing together), and just be her charming self. A__'s parents are equally charming, and it did me a lot of good chatting with A_____ about parenthood and the occasional irritations of being married to a really great guy that you love to bits. (The man & J___ are brothers.)

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It was also Eleni's baby shower on Saturday. It was grand, and M____ & C____ really knocked themselves out. I made a conscious decision to enjoy the party & not worry about taking a ton of photos, so there are only a couple pics. And right now, I'm disinclined to find the camera & the cable. But it was truly lovely, and it made me feel really good to see such a welcome for my Eleni, and to know that we're so loved. (It's love when people will festoon your house and make cupcakes, pie & quiche.)

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The feeding front is interesting - two steps forward, two steps back. I believe we're through the dreaded six-week growth spurt, and cheese might be okay. I did screw up & eat some things with milk in it on Saturday, so we're re-zeroing the dairy meter. I'm getting better about figuring out what to eat.

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I'm off to bed now - the menfolk are still out drowning their sorrows. (A___ & I still can't figure out why that kick was worth three points - we both thought it was two. Ah well. Perhaps it was a bad idea for the kids & I to wear Rider gear today - there was a wide variety of body fluids on them, requiring several changes. Maybe that was a jinx. If so, moops.)

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*No, I'm not a fan of the Secret. There are some things that affirmations won't bring. But a realistically positive outlook is healthy.

Wherein I Have Not Much Good To Say...

I feel like I don't really have much good to say, but I need to let this out. I know I'm so lucky to have such a lovely family, and a considerate husband, and a bright & clever toddler, and a sweet, sweet baby. But. But.

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There's nothing "Wrong", per se. But I feel awful, and unfortunately, it's not in a physical way. I'm cranky, and tired, and irritable, and I've been on the verge of tears for two days now. I'm yelling at Am because she doesn't listen (seriously - why does it need to take 10 requests & 20 minutes to put on pants? Why does it take more than twice as long on days when I've allowed double the time?)*, then I'm mad at Am for having to yell at her, while I'm trying to feed Eleni (it does start off as a request - put that down, please. Put that down, please. PUT THAT DOWN NOW!), then I'm feeling bad for Eleni, who is not getting to nurse & bond with a calm, collected mother, and is getting negative energy. It's got to be stressful to have someone yelling over top of you when you're trying to eat. Then I feel guilty because Amoryn is two & a half, and she's really fantastic overall, and I shouldn't yell at her. Nobody deserves a mean mom.

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Then Amoryn takes another dvd out of its case and I yell at her again.

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I feel like there's no winning. Am isn't particularly acting out because of her sister; this is pretty standard Amoryn fare. I don't even think she's actively seeking negative attention - she's just reached a new stage where she's sure that she knows how everything works. Like, with the DVDs, if she takes one out of its case, and just spins it around on something long enough or fast enough or with the right amount of pressure, Nemo or Wall-E will appear**. I've been explaining that that's not what will happen; that scraping DVDs will destroy them, and I'm no longer impressed that Am is trying to apply logic to things. I'm yelling at her to leave the things alone.

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I know that when Am is sleeping, or at one of her two daycare days, I should be trying to take it easy & nap quietly with Eleni. But there's things like dental appointments, & chiropractors, and other random items that go from being an "errand" to being a Geneva-convention approved form of torture***, with the addition of a mobile toddler. And honestly, I feel so wound these days that even when I try to nap, I can't.

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I'm also incredibly envious of the man - he can eat what & when he wants, drink what he wants, sleep pretty much as much as he wants, and he gets to leave the house All By Himself, For As Long As He Needs To. I'm trying not to let that envy simmer into rage, but I tell you, the Grey Cup is not helping matters. True, we got a used jogging stroller that I can put both girls in, so I can get some physical exercise, but I still feel pretty damn trapped. And he looks like a pretty free bird, flitting off to work, then yoga, then Costco. Envy.

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I miss milk, and cheese, and yogurt. I've established that Eleni is not cool with the proteins in either cow's milk or soy, so I'm trying to figure out a new diet. I'll try cautiously reintroducing cheese, yogurt, & boiled milk gradually in a couple days, but I'm still letting things (namely Eleni's tender digestive tract) settle out before I go throwing more items into the calculations.

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I told the man the other night that I need to have some fun. "So what do you want to do?" I had no idea. None. Nada. Zip.

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I know what I want - I want to sleep for at least 6 mazillion hours in a row. I want Amoryn to listen to me so that I don't have to shriek at her. (She doesn't even have to listen the first time. Just as long as it's before shrieking, and she listens the first time on important things like "this is a parking lot with cars, you need to stay right here".) I'd like it if Eleni quit spitting entire feeds of milk on me - although I know that's to do with the cow's milk/soy issues, so that should actually come true. I'd like it if my old pants fit****, so I didn't have to go buy new ones, or continue wearing maternity pants. I'd really like it if that niggling sinking sensation went away - that sensation that the Deep Dark Pool of Depression is creeping it's way up my toes, onto my feet. (Whether it's winter or post-partum, depression is something I've tangled with before & have no desire to ever go near again.)

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Sigh. I know that it's Not Really That Bad, and I'll Feel Better With More Sleep, and Really, I'm Really Lucky. But right now I want a long nap, a big glass of milk, and a hug; and I know what the odds on all of those things are at this moment.

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I'm going to go do some more laundry. And have a cup of (herbal) tea with a (homemade) cookie.

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*This is simply the first conflict of the day, not the biggest, or most serious.

**This, or some other similar toddler logic, happens more that I can tell you.

***It must be; although I tell you, with the right toddler & the wrong line-up, you could break many a strong man.

****I can actually put some of them on - provided I don't mind: a) spending ten minutes hopping into them, b) feeling like 10 pounds of sausage in a 5 pound casing, c) losing the sensation in my legs because they're so m-f tight, and d) having to spend another 10 minutes peeling them off. And I'm not lamenting my current shape at all - I just want the pants problem to be magically solved.

It's Shawl Done

Yes indeed, it's shawl done. I wish I could say that it's perfect & I adore it, but...

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I was too excited to finally be casting off to closely inspect the final couple inches, & I found a couple funny stitches. I guess that's what comes of knitting in the dark. (The majority of the final knitting on this puppy were with El, in the middle of the night; or in the bathroom, with Am, conversing about the wonders of the toilet.)
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I'm overall pleased with it though. It's only the third full-size shawl that I've knit, and now that I think about it they were all garter-stitch... Hm. Perhaps I am more of a masochist than I thought. Anyways, this is the first one that didn't have the Faroese shoulder seaming, & I'm missing that.
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I do like the length:width ratio - it's got a good wingspan but skims around my waist in the back. (Pose cleverly hides all milk residue on my shirt.)
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FYI: pattern is Shawl That Jazz by Samantha Roshak (Rav link), using Filatura Di Crosa Zarina in "Tulip Fields". It's a DK weight that I ordered from Elann, and required some math-fu on my part as the pattern is writtern for, erm, something different, and heavier. No, I err. I just checked. It's written for DK, & the Zarina is a sport-weight. Either way, I started it in June, and am happily wearing it around my (cool) house.

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(If you think I look a little cross or tired in these pics, you will be correct. Never fear; I'm only a little the worse for wear these days, and I know that the cross is one of the attractive accessories the Sleep Deprivation Fairy drops off. B1tch. I hate her.)

Who Needs Words,

Who needs words with pictures this fantastic?

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(Also, my brain seems to not be working today. So photos it is...)

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Dad & Eleni.

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Dad & Amoryn, hiding in the dragon kingdom, I think.

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Sliding!

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Amoryn reading to Donna. (Eleni is doing her flat out best to put Donna to sleep. It's El's superpower.)

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Eleni & I.

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Life is sure good.

Brought To You By the Junior Spokesmen for Literacy & Narcolepy

Lots to catch up on* - but first, feast your eyes upon two lovely gifts from a coworker & friend....
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For Eleni, there was this creature. I loves him, he's so soft. He's handmade, and his name if Breetzer, but I've rechristened him Frederick.
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Here he is, helping prop El on her side. Doesn't he look like a Frederick?
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Amoryn got a box set of five books. I don't think I can use enough exclamation points to clearly illustrate how she feels about this, but it's pretty darn cool. Her box of books has been the first choice to play with ever since she opened them.

As a plus, we had one of the books - Chrysanthemum - but it had suffered serious damage during a nap**, then additional injury during a bout of the flu. So I'm pleased that we have a copy again, it's a great little story.
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And some gratuitous sleepy baby footage - this was an hour past when she was supposed to eat, and I'd been gently bugging her for about half an hour. All goat noises are genuine El sounds, btw.

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Speaking of sleepy goats, I'd better go & make some hay while the sun is shining & the girls are napping...

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*No, there's not really anything huge & enormous... just scads of adorable photos of the girls with a variety of family members...

**This was before we had thoroughly drilled into Am's head that books are Special, & Important, & it's Very Bad to rip them, ever.

I'm Not Sure What's Wrong...

Well, actually, I sort of am. I'm not getting enough knitting.

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If it were simply because of the fact that life is hectic & I'm busy chasing the kids, then that would be one thing. That is the case some days, and I'm totally okay with that. (Actually, I only chase Am. El is still pretty immobile - although surprisingly mobile & strong for her age.)

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What is really bothering me is that I'm not knitting because of my hands. After we went to Anaheim, my hands and feet were both really swollen from the heat. My feet recovered, but my hands stayed puffy. With the puffiness, came tingling. It was miserable. Needles & pins, numbness, yadda yadda. My doctor & midwives reassured me* that it's all because of the retained water during pregnancy, and it'll clear up. It was making me crazy though - knitting is my portable sanity, and I couldn't knit. Well, I could knit a little bit - but it felt like I was wearing mittens, my hands were so tingly/numb.

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It's been almost a month since I had Eleni, and while the water retention & arms going to sleep has mostly resolved itself, I still feel like I'm wearing imaginary mittens. True, they're more of a lightweight shrinkie mitt now, not a bulky-weight mitten, but still. Hard to knit anything interesting. (Also hard to deal with those cursed wee little snaps that plague baby clothing!)

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I may also be feeling a little animosity towards Shawl That Endless Garter Stitch - I've been working on it almost exclusively because a) I want to have it done to use it for nursing b) it's pretty much idiot-proof at this stage c) I can pick it up & drop it easily & d) it's simple enough that my 'invisible mitts' are workable. I'm tired of knitting it. I've been tired for quite a while, really; I knit through "the wall" a looong time ago, and now, I'm just ready to be done with it. I know that the ruffle really needs at least 4-6 more rows, minimum, and at the current rate of knitting, that's at least a week. I'm afraid if I put the shawl into the 'Bad Knitting Box' I won't return to it until I have grandchildren. And I've put enough time into it that I really do want to finish it. But the idea of another week with it is enough to turn my stomach. Thus, a dilemma: a) cast off, and have a finished project that I may always look at and think "I should've.."? b) keep knitting, and if my sanity snaps & I turn the shawl into a casserole for supper, hope that by the time I'm out of the loony bin, they've developed some way to separate merino from tuna? c) put it in the bad knitting box, with the intention of returning to it while I'm still nursing.

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It's a tough call. My decision making abilities are pretty impaired by my sleep deprivation**. If it weren't for the imaginary mittens, I'd probably park the project for while, but I can't really start anything more interesting or fun, because I'm too fumblefingered.

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Meh. What a whiny post. I'd delete this all, but maybe someone in the Intarweb will have a useful suggestion. I think I'm going to go & knit on my only other project - Am's stripey sweater, which is a worsted weight top-down raglan, so simple enough. It's in three colors, so it's not good drop'n'run material, but Am's in bed, so I shouldn't have to bolt for anything.

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Please leave a comment if you have any brilliant solutions or suggestions...

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*They also didn't appreciate the gravity of me Not Being Able To Knit.

**Normal, nursing a month-old baby style sleep deprivation.

Live, From La Brea

Am did something very exciting the other day. It was tremendous.
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(I'm going to use a lot of euphenisms now, partially for those delicate in nature, and partially to avoid getting a lot of weird google hits.)
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She made her first big deposit in the potty bank. I don't understand why she's decided - now that there's a new baby here - that she's really interested in potty training. It doesn't really matter, I suppose. It's not the first thing I don't understand, and I know it's not going to be the last. At any rate, she laid quite a log. Her dad wasn't home, and he's been a big cheerleader, so I took a page from Kate's* book & took a picture. He got home, and I told him to look in the camera to see what Am did that was so impressive & exciting that it rated a rare, 2nd Elmo. He was totally wowed.
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I'd share the image with you, but I have some tact & discretion. Or boundaries, or something. Instead, to commemorate, here is a brief video of the big pond in front of the La Brea Tar Pits. The noise, the smell; they're very evocative of the event.
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(I may not be getting enough sleep.)

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*Jon & Kate + 8. She photographed each kid's first dump.

Well, Sometimes What You Ask For

Sometimes what you ask for isn't what you actually want... This is for Anonymous.

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(I have no idea what's going on there, by the way. It's from late October, that's all I know.)

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So, not a baby video, but it still made me laugh. All the other baby videos are either too sweet & personal for me to share, sideways, or are wildly too close for focus. (My arms are only so long, eh?)

Her Dad May Have Caught Bigger Fish...*

Eleni is growing, oh yes indeed. She weighed in (literally) today at 7 pounds, and three weeks of age. (She was born at 6lb 2oz.) I'm not force-feeding her, although I can understand why you might think so when you check out the belly!
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(Kitchen sink bath.)
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Amoryn continues to be a delighted, if easily distracted, big sister. (If you don't have the bandwidth or patience for the video, it features El 'swimming'**, and Am's brief interested commentary, then her sales pitch to go & watch some Elmo.)

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That's not what they're watching here; it's just a fluke that Am was looking the same way as her dad. Elmo gets an entirely different body posture - one that says "I AM FIXATED". (I especially love the little starfish hands on the man's shoulder.)

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I can't think of much else to say - things are going well. Blogging is low on the priority list - somewhere behind applying under-eye concealer, way behind eating, and waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind sleep. I do think up all sorts of witty blog posts in the middle of the night, when I'm up feeding Eleni, but they don't seem to survive to the morning light. Trust me, they're funny. Maybe I'll get smart & start making notes - although then I run the risk of trying to decipher what some random scrawl means.

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On the other hand, interpreting random scrawls might make an interesting post. Today's blogging time is drawing to a close, as is the lovely synchronized naps that the girls gave me today.

.*She's so much prettier than any fish, ever. Also, less slimy, and happier about breathing air.

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**The man thinks it looks more like kung-fu.

A Booo-tiful Day

It was a great Halloween. The man & the toddler carved pumpkins...

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(Although Am was more of a consultant, really.)

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I finished knitting El's costume...

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She's cute as a bug!

(Tough to take a photo of someone who has no real neck control OR consistently open eyes...)

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Speaking of bugs...

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Am was a butterfly.

And she had a treat bag. We all went trick-or-treating to about a quarter of the cul-de-sac. That was enough to fill up the goody bag & tire us out. She was a little foggy on the whole concept, at first, but by the time we wrapped up she was chanting "Trick or treat! Trick or treat!". I'm curious if she'll try to trick or treat next time we go out on errands.

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(Just in case the trick or treating works, I'll have to make sure that it's a yarn store errand!)